Men what do you think? its long sorry

[motherlydia]

It all started with stupid craiglist.org, he like to go on there to look at farm stuff and motorcycles, also he like to for some reason look in the personals like strictly platonic and he respond to a ad that said she was married but likes to flirt and what to have a little fun. On Dec 17th 2010 I was just in the kitchen and he phone was on the counter blinking, so I check it because I thought it was just one of his friends from his work. Well it wasn't it was the girl he meet on stupid craiglist. They calling each other babe, sweetie, they miss each other, calling stuff he should only call me. He showed his butt to her. It said it in the text. They was going to give gifts for christmas, so they give each there addresses since they live 6 hours away. I got the her address. He give her his dad not where he lives so I wouldnt know. When she was asking him what she could get him and he said * * * * * , but it sad just kidding. I love to know what they talked about on the phone, I am so afraid that they talked sexual or something. It was going on for almost 3 weeks and I didnt know. I talked to her, she said it was friendly which I doubt. So after talking with her I kept asking why why why? We have been together since May 19th 2005. I dont know why he would do this, I dont think I did anything wrong. I give him you know what he needs. We tell each other we love each other. We hug and kiss all the time. We got in a arugment after I talked to that girl and I toss him phone back and he tought I ment to throw it, so he got my laptop and destroy it and threw my phone into the wall. And I called the police and he went to jail, I didnt want him to go to jail; I just wanted the police their incase he came back to break something else. I was just so mad and scared.
So he got out and we wanted to work it out, cause I love him so much. We talked a little about what went on but not enough for me, you know. I want to know everything and the damn truth and WHY? He always says I dont know. It upsets me more that he cant talk about what he did. It like he dont care he hurt me but he says he cares.
So were trying to work it out cuz we also have a 4yr old. But the thing is he still goes on craiglist to look at the posting under personals. I caught him by k9 web protection and I was why would you go to it after all this. He said to look at the pictures. I know his email password now and check it. He hasn't respond to anything. But still, I would never go under anything like that. Oh yeah he also created like 5 account like match.com, singles.net, xmatch, sites like that. I havent really discuss why he created them. It worries me, that he was trying to meet someone else. He never made a profile when he was a teenager like I did. I know how it is. But those left me when I got with him. He dont talk to that girl anymore either. I would like to check him phone records to see how much he text her and what times. Of course it was when I was work I know but like how much. Do you think its good that I dont know what they talked about? But I cant sleep sometimes. I keep thinking about the ol' deal. Will I ever forget this? How can I trust him. Is this a really cheating sitution, if they just text and talked on the phone. Never meet. But talked like they did? I took pictures of them of the texts. It made me sick that he would do this. I just want to know why. He wont open up, he has that issue he wont talk about anything to no one. I tried to talking with him last night cuz he went again on craiglist on his phone, he deletes the link thinking I cant find out but he wrong it highlight where you been. So I asks him if he loved me, he said yes, if he wanted anyone else, No. So I was like then why you stilling looking under the personals under craiglist he was like its not like im talking to them, he just want to see the pictures. I rather him look at porn then on there. He has the option to get in contact with them. I hate craig list. Oh yea i forgot something he told that girl he loved her but was joking. Should I be concern about that or you think he was just playing along for fun. I dont know what to do about this. I love him to death. He knows he hurt me and how I feel. I just hope he does care that I am hurt. Last night when I talk to him, we was in bed, he was sleepy he didnt want talk about it cuz he had to go to work. So he was I dont want to talk about it, its bed time. I thought if you cared about someone and they are sad, it doesnt matter what time it is. We're engaged and I took my ring off and laid it on his face and he put it on the night stand and I said if you really love me you would put it back on my finger, he said not tonight its bed time. So this morning he was like where's your ring I said on the nightstand, he still didnt put it on. So when he came in to tell me bye and kiss me. He still didnt put it on, I was like arent you going to put it on so he found it and handed to me. I want him to put it on. He not romanic grrr...He still worry about the ring though. He just dont like to talk about things, do you think he knows he did wrong and is guilty, dont want to think about it. I like to know he wont do it again and isnt thinking about that girl or any girl. What can I do? How can I forget? I still love him the same. Also the girl knows where I work and my name and my childs name. So she knew about me. He also said when she would say something bad he would say something, like I guess dont be talking about her. I dont know if that is the truth. So I dont know and I like to know. What can I do people. THank you for reading I hope you understand it sorry I am a bad typer and bad at english lol. Im just so freaking MAD!!! Welll I have more to tell you this part happen in dec now its aug and I have caught him 3 more times talking to girls, now he had sent dirty pics and texted dirty to them. I kept telling him how it makes me feel and says I go on and on.. Im like I wouldnt if you would get on stupid craglist personals.. I told him does he likes doing this, stressing me out and maybe destroy our family. I told him I dont want our daugther to not have a family. so the 3 time I thought I got to him cause he hugged me and said he was sorry and wouldnt get back on craiglist. said I love you and kiss me he never said sorry like that. so I believed him but the next day he texted this girl that was wanting money wanted to know if she could come down cuz she lived 1 hour away but she said she had no car. Yea hooker alert! She lives in a dang hotel. He dont see that he can get hurt and that these ppl can rob or kill you. Or cops trying caught perdiorators he dont think at all, Im like are stupid in my head. WE have a child and he is not thinking at all about her. How can I get this in is head that still texting girls and send pics of his penis i wrong and cheating. and that ppl on craiglist is fakes. How can I scare him. He dont have money to give I think he thought it was funny or something. AS anyone been in the same problem? HElp please...TY

[motherlydia]

It all started with stupid craiglist.org, he like to go on there to look at farm stuff and motorcycles, also he like to for some reason look in the personals like strictly platonic and he respond to a ad that said she was married but likes to flirt and what to have a little fun. On Dec 17th 2010 I was just in the kitchen and he phone was on the counter blinking, so I check it because I thought it was just one of his friends from his work. Well it wasn't it was the girl he meet on stupid craiglist. They calling each other babe, sweetie, they miss each other, calling stuff he should only call me. He showed his butt to her. It said it in the text. They was going to give gifts for christmas, so they give each there addresses since they live 6 hours away. I got the her address. He give her his dad not where he lives so I wouldnt know. When she was asking him what she could get him and he said * * * * * , but it sad just kidding. I love to know what they talked about on the phone, I am so afraid that they talked sexual or something. It was going on for almost 3 weeks and I didnt know. I talked to her, she said it was friendly which I doubt. So after talking with her I kept asking why why why? We have been together since May 19th 2005. I dont know why he would do this, I dont think I did anything wrong. I give him you know what he needs. We tell each other we love each other. We hug and kiss all the time. We got in a arugment after I talked to that girl and I toss him phone back and he tought I ment to throw it, so he got my laptop and destroy it and threw my phone into the wall. And I called the police and he went to jail, I didnt want him to go to jail; I just wanted the police their incase he came back to break something else. I was just so mad and scared.
So he got out and we wanted to work it out, cause I love him so much. We talked a little about what went on but not enough for me, you know. I want to know everything and the damn truth and WHY? He always says I dont know. It upsets me more that he cant talk about what he did. It like he dont care he hurt me but he says he cares.
So were trying to work it out cuz we also have a 4yr old. But the thing is he still goes on craiglist to look at the posting under personals. I caught him by k9 web protection and I was why would you go to it after all this. He said to look at the pictures. I know his email password now and check it. He hasn't respond to anything. But still, I would never go under anything like that. Oh yeah he also created like 5 account like match.com, singles.net, xmatch, sites like that. I havent really discuss why he created them. It worries me, that he was trying to meet someone else. He never made a profile when he was a teenager like I did. I know how it is. But those left me when I got with him. He dont talk to that girl anymore either. I would like to check him phone records to see how much he text her and what times. Of course it was when I was work I know but like how much. Do you think its good that I dont know what they talked about? But I cant sleep sometimes. I keep thinking about the ol' deal. Will I ever forget this? How can I trust him. Is this a really cheating sitution, if they just text and talked on the phone. Never meet. But talked like they did? I took pictures of them of the texts. It made me sick that he would do this. I just want to know why. He wont open up, he has that issue he wont talk about anything to no one. I tried to talking with him last night cuz he went again on craiglist on his phone, he deletes the link thinking I cant find out but he wrong it highlight where you been. So I asks him if he loved me, he said yes, if he wanted anyone else, No. So I was like then why you stilling looking under the personals under craiglist he was like its not like im talking to them, he just want to see the pictures. I rather him look at porn then on there. He has the option to get in contact with them. I hate craig list. Oh yea i forgot something he told that girl he loved her but was joking. Should I be concern about that or you think he was just playing along for fun. I dont know what to do about this. I love him to death. He knows he hurt me and how I feel. I just hope he does care that I am hurt. Last night when I talk to him, we was in bed, he was sleepy he didnt want talk about it cuz he had to go to work. So he was I dont want to talk about it, its bed time. I thought if you cared about someone and they are sad, it doesnt matter what time it is. We're engaged and I took my ring off and laid it on his face and he put it on the night stand and I said if you really love me you would put it back on my finger, he said not tonight its bed time. So this morning he was like where's your ring I said on the nightstand, he still didnt put it on. So when he came in to tell me bye and kiss me. He still didnt put it on, I was like arent you going to put it on so he found it and handed to me. I want him to put it on. He not romanic grrr...He still worry about the ring though. He just dont like to talk about things, do you think he knows he did wrong and is guilty, dont want to think about it. I like to know he wont do it again and isnt thinking about that girl or any girl. What can I do? How can I forget? I still love him the same. Also the girl knows where I work and my name and my childs name. So she knew about me. He also said when she would say something bad he would say something, like I guess dont be talking about her. I dont know if that is the truth. So I dont know and I like to know. What can I do people. THank you for reading I hope you understand it sorry I am a bad typer and bad at english lol. Im just so freaking MAD!!! Welll I have more to tell you this part happen in dec now its aug and I have caught him 3 more times talking to girls, now he had sent dirty pics and texted dirty to them. I kept telling him how it makes me feel and says I go on and on.. Im like I wouldnt if you would get on stupid craglist personals.. I told him does he likes doing this, stressing me out and maybe destroy our family. I told him I dont want our daugther to not have a family. so the 3 time I thought I got to him cause he hugged me and said he was sorry and wouldnt get back on craiglist. said I love you and kiss me he never said sorry like that. so I believed him but the next day he texted this girl that was wanting money wanted to know if she could come down cuz she lived 1 hour away but she said she had no car. Yea hooker alert! She lives in a dang hotel. He dont see that he can get hurt and that these ppl can rob or kill you. Or cops trying caught perdiorators he dont think at all, Im like are stupid in my head. WE have a child and he is not thinking at all about her. How can I get this in is head that still texting girls and send pics of his penis i wrong and cheating. and that ppl on craiglist is fakes. How can I scare him. He dont have money to give I think he thought it was funny or something. AS anyone been in the same problem? HElp please...TY

[HeartIsAching]

Paragraphs would be nice.

[Andariel]

I had been in a similar situation with one of my exes (minus the child) and I know how you feel.It is absolutely devastating to find out something like this. My experience is that people like that don't change because they don't actually think they are doing anything wrong!!

If you didn't have a child together my advice would have been to dump him. He doesn't look like he is willing to change and he definitely does not respect you because you have made it clear how much his behaviour has been hurting you and he still continues talking (or even meeting!) these women. That right there is a clear sign that he does not respect you/ care enough about you and your child to stop.

Since you have a child together, you need to decide what is best for you but also your child.I think you need to have an honest discussion with him and tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable to you and then set boundaries.Just talking to him is obviously not working. He needs to realise that there will be consequences if he keeps this up. Depending on what you decide you want, you will then itemise these consequences to him during that discussion.If he doesn't change regardless of that discussion, then you need to follow through with whatever you have told him you would do in that case (ie. kick him out and not let him back in your life until he goes to couples therapy with you or even see a therapist on his own for sexual addiction, dump him etc). If you continue to just say 'I want you to stop' and there are no consequences after he disespects your wishes then he will obviously get it into his head (and it looks like this has unfortunately already happened) that he can use you as a doormat (ie. still be in a relationship with you and continue his online/phone sex activities which could well end up becoming physical in the long run, if that hasn't already happened). Open your eyes to the reality of your situation: this man is being cruel to you, he does not respect you, he does not care enough for you and his child to stop and prefers to put your family in jeopardy and he is obviously taking advantage of you. This needs to stop otherwise your self-esteem will hit rock bottom and you will spend the rest of your life being his little doormat. You need to be strong for both yourself and most importantly for your child and set clear boundaries about what is acceptable within your relationship.

[Incognito]

I would have finished this and commented on it if the grammar weren't so horrible. Its like a 6 year old Japanese kid typed this story and then ran it through a crappy translator. Proofread, edit, separate into paragraphs and maybe people will fully understand your story and comment on it.

[Sonrisa]

it's not my day today

[Incognito]

it's not my day today

??? Please explain.

[Sonrisa]

??? Please explain.

many peeps were double posting and made me mad