How should I play this situation?

[tjtigers14]

She broke up with me because of rocky times with marijuana possession charges for me, and I sort of confronted a drug problem that was bigger than I thought and we argued a lot because I hid my substance abuse from her. But I told her everything and I'm on the road to being happy while sober.

She broke my heart but she couldn't stop texting me, logging into my FB to read my messages or getting mad when I talked to other girls. We hung out today and she was adamant about the 'just friends' thing. But then out of the blue she kissed me. I know she still loves me, I'm just having trouble being patient and waiting for her. She wants to be friends for a while until we see if we're good for each other and should get back together.

How should I play this situation? How should I act when we're together? How should I deal with my insecurities about "just friends" and the possibility of using that mantra to see other guys (I don't think she ever would but I'm paranoid)?

I just need help so I don't **** this up

[MerryH]

I think you should stop allowing her to toy with you. I doubt she's doing it maliciously, but she's still messing with you by telling you she wants to be just friends then kissing you and getting mad that you talk to other girls.

I don't agree with the whole "let's be friends until we figure out if we should get back together" thing. If you want to be with someone, you work on problems together from within your relationship, not separately, as friends. That's not going to really fix anything. It's saying, "Hey, I don't like this about you and unless you change it, I'm not going to be your girlfriend, but I'm still going to do some girlfriend-y things so that you can't get over me and you'll basically be pressured into changing for me." It's manipulation. Or maybe it's just plain punishment for doing something she didn't like.

How should I deal with my insecurities about "just friends" and the possibility of using that mantra to see other guys (I don't think she ever would but I'm paranoid)?

Why wouldn't she see other guys? She can. You're only friends, remember? Prepare yourself for the possibility that she will befriend/flirt with/date other guys. That's the situation you're agreeing to if you continue to be friends with her.

[HeartIsAching]

Wow. You two need to not be together. Seriously, this isn't going to end well.

[tjtigers14]

Haha well I lied to her about a lot of substance things and definitely didn't treat her right, so she's entitled to this power and I don't mind. I just want it to work out!

When I finally agreed to this whole thing and said "I'm excited to be just friends for a while!" or something like that. And she said "Yeah me too! But it doesn't mean that we're single, we can't see other people" So that's good...right?

[tjtigers14]

Why do you say that?

[bluesummer]

I don't understand her logic. How does 'just being friends' mean that you can't date other people?