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Thread: "I'll keep you in mind" she says

  1. #1
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    "I'll keep you in mind" she says

    so this girl broke things off with her fiance about five months ago, we became friends around that time because she started to work at the place I work full time. She clearly liked me in some way, always hugging me when drunk (as opposed to anyone else) and we made each other laugh

    She started seeing another guy, I new it was a rebound (he's kind of effeminate, thing it was more of an intense relationship thing) so I asked her out while she was seeing him knowing I would get rejected, she blushed and said "your so cute" and other shit but politely said no......I was just registering my interest

    anyway, a few months later, last night I mean, I asked her out again, she said she doesn't want to date anyone right now but maybe we could meet outside sometime. About half an hour later I said again "well if you ever need an activity partner you know I'm down", she said with her back turned "I'll keep you in mind Erik"

    Am I being brushed off or what?

  2. #2
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    well heres a question to go along with my boring problem: Do you women ever reject men you "like", and why? ( I feel strongly she likes me to some degree)

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    She probably really likes you as a friend, but is not interested in dating you. It happens. She probably doesn't want to lose your friendship by hurting your feelings so that's why she is probably being a little weird with her responses.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Evo1114 View Post
    She probably really likes you as a friend, but is not interested in dating you. It happens. She probably doesn't want to lose your friendship by hurting your feelings so that's why she is probably being a little weird with her responses.
    Well I'll be honest, we're not close friends, actually we never hang out outside of being in the group of people we both work with.......she's already turned me down anyway, I approach her in a comedic manner, she should know it wouldn't hurt my feelings.....maybe I'm wrong

  5. #5
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    Ah that sucks..
    I had a guy friend in high school that liked me and I knew it but Id play dumb, and sometimes Id hug him or tease his hair just to keep that feeling of someone having a crush on me I guess. He asked me to dances etc. and Id let him down gently because I liked him as a friend but knew he wasn't someone Id want to date (too religious and too much of a push-over). I never straight up said NO and why not. So I strung him along. Ive learned by now how shitty that is to do. This girl sounds like shes doing the same thing I had done.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodtippedrose View Post
    Ah that sucks..
    I had a guy friend in high school that liked me and I knew it but Id play dumb, and sometimes Id hug him or tease his hair just to keep that feeling of someone having a crush on me I guess. He asked me to dances etc. and Id let him down gently because I liked him as a friend but knew he wasn't someone Id want to date (too religious and too much of a push-over). I never straight up said NO and why not. So I strung him along. Ive learned by now how shitty that is to do. This girl sounds like shes doing the same thing I had done.

    I appreciate your sympathy but its not really like that (she`s seen me with a black eye and knows my humor ), I guess I can`t really communicate the situation

    BUT, not worth spending too much time over regardless....I am curious about whether women ever turn down guys they are attracted to or "like" on some level

  7. #7
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    I did in fourth grade but that was only because I was new to relationships and embarrassed/not ready.
    Other than that I can't think of a reason why a girl would reject someone they like unless they have a boyfriend already, they are crushing on multiple guys at once and don't want to commit, or they think you have a girlfriend or they think they're not good enough for you.
    If I liked a guy and he asked me out on a casual date I would say yes. The only reason I would say no is because he's not my 'type', just my friend. Look at the 'type' of guys shes dated in the past for clues.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodtippedrose View Post
    Ah that sucks..
    I had a guy friend in high school that liked me and I knew it but Id play dumb, and sometimes Id hug him or tease his hair just to keep that feeling of someone having a crush on me I guess. He asked me to dances etc. and Id let him down gently because I liked him as a friend but knew he wasn't someone Id want to date (too religious and too much of a push-over). I never straight up said NO and why not. So I strung him along. Ive learned by now how shitty that is to do. This girl sounds like shes doing the same thing I had done.
    Wow, you were so cruel
    You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

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    Yes I was a total bitch, though I didn't know I was being one at the time.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodtippedrose View Post
    Ah that sucks..
    I had a guy friend in high school that liked me and I knew it but Id play dumb, and sometimes Id hug him or tease his hair just to keep that feeling of someone having a crush on me I guess. He asked me to dances etc. and Id let him down gently because I liked him as a friend but knew he wasn't someone Id want to date (too religious and too much of a push-over). I never straight up said NO and why not. So I strung him along. Ive learned by now how shitty that is to do. This girl sounds like shes doing the same thing I had done.
    You should post this in the "Why are women vicious ?" thread.

  11. #11
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    There are many possibilities:
    -It's possible that she is still not over her ex-fiance and is just trying to get over the break up, so she needs time to sort things out. Dating someone casually outside the workplace might not have been a problem whilst she was still healing but dating someone at work could make things a lot more complicated for her so maybe she is taking her time before going on a date with you.

    -She is just not interested but doesn't want to flat out reject you because she genuinely likes you as a person and is hoping that with time you will forget about the attraction part and you will only want to be friends.

    -Maybe she is cautious about dating in the workplace in general (for instance, I would never consider dating someone I work with because if we broke up I would have to see him very often or I might be forced to change jobs.Not to mention all the office gossip!).

    -She might like you but is not sure whether you two would be compatible and wants more time to get to know you better before agreeing to a date.

    Either way, you should not put your dating life on hold for her. Keep dating other people and if she asks you out and you are still interested then go for it!

  12. #12
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    Assume she is brushing you off nicely. That's the most likely thing going on here.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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