Should I or shouldn't I?

[phantom1]

I'll make this as quick as possible.

I broke up with her 6 months ago now. We went out officially for a year and a half.
We text regular and met a few times, had sex etc. She chased me. Asked me out again I said no as I didn't know what I wanted (I was having personal problems at the time)

We went on holiday together (was booked before we split) for two weeks and it was great. I planned on getting her back.

We got back and she was all cold and distant and wouldn't meet me and started dating some other guy. She said she pinned after me for 5 months and had to get over me. As soon as she updated her Facebook to in a relationship with this guy she text me everyday just random nice things, such as about films I like etc...

We still text etc now and again but now I don't know what to do. How do I get her back? I was thinking as she doesn't want to meet me (I'm guessing she maybe still has some feelings for me?) that I would send her a love letter expressing how I feel. I know I hurt her bad but I really felt we we're growing up and getting back together again until this new guy. It's 6 months since we initially broke but it really only feels like a month seeing as we still constantly hung out etc before our holiday. Should I wait it out? Or send the letter? She's with this new guy now and I'm sure they're in the Honeymoon period or whatever so I don't know what to do.

Also I've really changed since we split, I've sorted my career out, about to buy a car and I've gotten into shape as I run 5 times a week now so please don't recommend I spend time on myself as I have thank you.

Advice please xx

[6wordsentence]

hi phantom,

This is a very common situation,

Look when she realize that she is the only one that you got going for you in your life, you'll lose considerable value in her eyes. Don't ask me how I know, your situation speaks for itself. See if she ever liked you it surely wasn't because you were acting desperate, so please don't travel that path.

What you want to do instead is, have more fun in your life, create a life that she would find exciting to be a part of it. Do what makes you happy (besides texting her 20 times a day). And more importantly, have more women in your life. Just as friends to begin with.

This will make her see that you're valuable and that she's not your only asset, if you know what I mean.

But, the real point, above all is this: STOP acting desperate.. It will make her run, and faster. Give her the freedom that she needs. Focus on having fun for yourself and if she finds that it's a good idea joining your life again, she's welcome.

You may even find something shinier in the process.

I hope this post could help you out.

Yours truly

the 6 word sentence

[phantom1]

Hi

Thank you for replying so fast!

It's strange because I know I shouldn't pine for her but I feel as though I need to fight for her otherwise I'll just be letting this other guy have her? I feel as thought the letter is a all or nothing deal, I suppose I should just hold onto it?

It just surprises me how she's gone from wanting me so much to just nothing in the matter of maybe a month or so?

Especially seeing as we went on holiday together, we only saw each other once since then and that was me apologising for the way it ended (I did not ask her to get back with me as I knew she was seeing someone but she didn't know I knew)

What else is strange is she told me about a film I should watch (which I did) and there was one certain part where the couple play a game in it. Through texting we started to play. But she was obviously playing with her boyfriend too as he posted on her wall the same thing. I really don't know what to make of that!?

I really want her back I just don't know what to do, I know the right move is to be nonchalant but I don't want her to forget me and then that's it it's over and I didn't even fight for her. I'm sure people fight for ex's all the time and get them back? Surely?

[phantom1]

Also If I do send the letter. Even if she doesn't respond at all she will know how I feel? Then even months down the line and things with her new guy don't work out she will be able to think about how much I cared even if I have moved on or not...?

In retrospect with my first love I started acting all needy and desperate and it took almost 2 -3 years before she got in touch again ha. (and totally admitted how she wanted me) heh

[searock]

She definitely still has feelings for you. But I think she is afraid of getting close to you again, since she suffered a lot the last time she did. This really is kinda difficult. I think that if you REALLY want her back no matter what (therefore are going to ignore any advice to move on with your life etc), then you should just hang around and wait for her to get closer to you. Of course, it might not happen, that's a risk. But if you step forward and do something "strong" like sending her a love letter, I think she'll just take more distance from you, since she is still afraid of what happened the last time (and she is going out with someone else). If you just hang around and keep casually (i.e. not every day or stuff, I mean don't give her the idea that you're desperate!) flirting with her or whatever through texts/facebook and such, then there is a chance that she'll be more comfortable around you and will gradually get closer to you again. Or - and it's a likely possibility - she'll just go on with her life without you. It's up to you to decide whether you care enough to take the risk.

[6wordsentence]

Hi it's me again..

listen up, I'll tell you exactly what you need to do and why, but you have to take this one carefuly ok..

Look, right now she's having you as backup material. Like if the real thing doesn't work out, she still has you on the side as a fall back position. You understand that right? That's what probably happened with the other girl you were talking about.

I don't claim to know it all, but I do have lots of experience in this area because I'm what you might call a natural.

Now, what you want instead is to BE the real thing and let the other guy be the back up plan or maybe even make her realize that she don't need a back up plan in the first place. This will take time.

So what should you do?

the structure would be something like this.

The first question you need her to think about is: how would your life be if you've never met me. Now don't get too emotional here. Listen to her answer, if it's something positive like "you thought me this or you're a cool guy, bla bla bla, if it's positive.. Now you know that she still likes you.

But, if it's a negative.. My friend you should think about this situation for a sec. You're chasing someone who don't want to be chased. Again it depends on her answer to this question. I hope it's a positive.

Let's say it's a positive then we'll go for the negative, ok.

So she said that you're amazing, right. Now pay very close attention buddy. This one won't make any sense but try it.

You want to tell her that you're trying to sort you're life out right now. That you're trying to get your boogy on with someone else. (you're not lying because you said that you're trying)

Now this will instantly kick in the competition feelings for her. She'll instantly realize that you have more options in your life, just like she's having YOU right now.

Next you want to tell her this: hey, if I've never met you I wouldn't know how to love anyone, so thank you.

What you're doing is giving her mixed feelings, First you give her some BAD feelings.. then you give her some GOOD feelings. You can probably guess what comes next.

BAD feelings.. Now you tell her that it's probably a good idea to break the connection that you're having. (remember do this only if she gave you positive feedback on your first question)

Now this little exercise will make her think all day long about you, and I guess that's exactly what you want. But you're not done yet. You must act quick.

Then you say that you've gone through a lot of things lately and she would laugh her ass off when you tell her all about it. this will make her curious.

Then say: But I don't think it's a good idea to meet you though. (more mixed feelings)

Whatever she says you go like: you know what ( like you made up your mind)

Then You want to ask her to get together with you somewhere alone so you can have a quick friendly conversation in person. It'll take all the pressure of the meeting and it'll give you time to game her.

This will be your date.. hah

Now what if she gave you a negative answer on your question: how would your life be if you've never met me?

This means that she don't like you as much as you think. Again, this means that you're chasing someone who don't want to be chased. Now if you don't mind to be hurt I suggest you proceed in the following manner, but remember. This situation is a little more tricky.

so she tells you, you're not that awesome.

What you do is this. You tell her that's great news. because now you now why she's acting so distant. It will make her realize that you've noticed that she've changed.

The next thing you want to do is ask her: what her ideal man would be.

When she tells you everything, you ask her: Now what would you do if your ideal man don't want to be with you?

Let her answer patiently. Don't care what she say, you just tell her: I'm glad I'm not your ideal man.

Most probably she'll wonder why. Here is where the magic comes. You tell her: because I don't want you to get hurt just because I don't like you.

She'll start thinking like crazy. why is he telling me this, he like me or not? again that's what you want.

Then say: I'm don't know if I'm really ready for a relationship right now, I just want to kinda sort my life out first.

next you tell her: but hey, I'm glad that I've met you in my life because you thought me that I must fight for what I want. (don't tell her anything about love, yet).

Do you recognize the GOOD feelings/BAD feelings structure?

then you ask her to get together with you somewhere alone so you can talk better. look out, she might say no.. but it's your only chance.

When you've setup a date, meet me back in here for more instructions.

I hope this post will help you. Also it would be better if you just know what's going on instead of copying my words but that would be a much longer post.

For now, success with this one,


the 6 word sentence.

P.S. hey, remember always: Knowledge is NOT power; The APPLICATION of knowledge is power.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Do not send a letter. Next time she texts you, tell her not to contact you ever again, unless she wants to get back together, as you are moving on.

[6wordsentence]

Do not send a letter. Next time she texts you, tell her not to contact you ever again, unless she wants to get back together, as you are moving on.

yeah, I was trying to say the same thing in a more polite way.. lol, while at the same time getting you what you really want, which is her.. makes sense?