I talked to her! I wrote her this letter should i send it?

[Bigboy77]

Thank you guys, i will not be sending it. I need to gauge her level of interest in me first and see if there is anything there still. Hopefully she follows through and we meet up.

[TJDVAN]

Completely agree with moosegal - send a letter but not that one. It is too much, but you should be honest and tell her how you feel and that you love her and want to try to make a go of things (if you truly do). I have learned, the hard way more often than not, that you can NEVER know exactly what someone else is thinking, so you should never be afraid to tell them the truth.

Of course, there is every chance that she has moved on and doesn't really want you back, but there is also the chance that the guy you saw her with is a desperate attempt to move on when in her heart she knows she doesn't want to. I have been that person before - trying to convince myself that I am over someone and ready for something new when I'm not. Just be prepared for the fact that she might not want you back, and that she might truly have moved on.

Apart from the original letter being too heavy emotionally, you should focus more on actions (after all, they always speak louder than words). Send her a letter, telling her that you miss her terribly, still love her (if you do), and that you would like the opportunity to go for a long walk and talk to her about all that has happened between you and in the period since your break-up. If she agrees, go with an open mind, tell her the contents of your heart and show her how you aim to make this relationship a loving and respectful one.

[IndiReloaded]

Thank you guys, i will not be sending it. I need to gauge her level of interest in me first and see if there is anything there still. Hopefully she follows through and we meet up.

Good choice. Personally, I've been on the receiving end of a letter like that and its... icky. Its screams of drama and lack of self-control. In fact, in hindsight (b/c I've had a similar experience) I'd think more than twice about sending emotionally-charged anything, even to someone I think I can trust.

Here's how I think about it, including love letters: if its not something you'd be okay with your grown-up children eventually reading--don't send it.

[Bigboy77]

I wouldnt be embarassed if my kids read that. I think its pretty genuine and sweet.. but hey i wrote it lol.

Thank you guys so much for the advice. Plan is to meet up with her.. treat her as an old friend/ mild flirting and gauge any interest i may see. If nothing about usis brought up ill just brinjg up that i missed her. Nothing more hardcore than that.

[Gal4Love]

Nice. I wish you the best of luck! :-)

[Bigboy77]

Thank you gal4love

[Gal4Love]

Your Welcome! I am a sucker for a love re-newed, when people realize their soulmates, a final happy ending to a sad story. :-)

[Bigboy77]

Yeah i dunno about me and her though... you can see how i feel by the letter.. but she has not reached out once except at the bar when i saw her.. she still hasnt said when she can meet up and its been 2 days now since i sent the email.. its very frusterating but im done completely if she doesnt reply.

[Gal4Love]

Well, I'm not sure of what really happened in your past but it seems like you did hurt her. Perhaps, she just scared of being hurt again. She doesn't know how much you miss her. How long were you together?

[Bigboy77]

together 2 years.. i went away for 3 months( but sent her letters and visited every 2 weeks) She fell out of love with me during this time... I tried to make things work for awhile but she was so cold and distant... So i asked her if she wanted to break up.. she said she didnt know... so i broke up with her and we agreed that when i get back we would see each other and see what happens.

I got back and she wouldnt see me... :'( I tried again in a week... she still woudlnt see me... i tried again in a month... she still wouldnt see me.. i tried again at the 3 month point.. she still wouldnt see me.. i ran into her in the bar and she flirted with me for 20 mins.. and she had a new bf of a month..he left jealous and yeah...

I sent her this a few days ago after that.. Hey we were both pretty drunk when we talked. Do you want to catch up and go for a walk? I think we have a lot to talk about.

She said yeah for sure

Then i said great i look forward to seeing you.

Now its been 2 days and nothing..

[Gal4Love]

Awww Bigboy77 :-( I wish you luck and I hope everything will work out. I know how hard this must be for you but stay strong, keep your head up. :-)

[Bigboy77]

Thank you
Well i sent her a letter. It wasnt this letter. She wouldnt meet up/ignored me ... so i sent my final letter and let all my thoughts out. I feel good now like i can finally move on because i have nothing left to say to her.

My letter was about the mistakes i feel i made and what ive learned and how i promise to support her etc and that i hope she will give us another chance. It was only a paragraph long but summed up all the thoughts i wanted to tell her.

I dont expect a response but now i have no reason to want her back anymore if she wont accept my honesty.

[Bigboy77]

She replied to it. finally some contact after 5 months. ::


Hey
I wasnt expecting that this morning. I don't know what to think at thismoment. I still have a lot of feelings for you too but I was so hurt that I've put them in the back of my mind. Please give me some time to think. I know I've been cold and distant but I'm not sure how to feel every things cloudy. I'm sorry that I havnt been keeping in contact as much as you have and I can't promise ill begin there's just a lot going on in my head but I'm not trying to avoid you. I really appreciate the things you said in the letter. I just need some time. Can we just stick to friends for a bit please.

-----
Now what to do?

[Wakeup]

-----
Now what to do?

You tell us!

[Bigboy77]

Haha wakeup.. ill send her this:

"Bring those feelings to the front of your mind, warm up, come closer, and let the sun through the clouds."

haha thats lame.. i dunno what to do.. probably just say something like "I respect your decision" and go more NC... but **** its the last thing i wanna do!