I get a lot of attention from the opposite sex

**throwaway** · 03-09-11, 05:49 AM

Sorry about the title, it's kind of true but my reason for writing it wasn't to seem pompous, rather to get people's attention. Here is my problem: I'm 20 years old, in college, and have been dating a girl for over three years now. To get right to the point, I constantly feel the beckoning call of the celibate life.

I know the grass is always greener on the other side but that telling myself that doesn't remove the feeling i have. I like girls, a lot. And I like the attention i get from them whether i am in a relationship or not. That's not to say my relationship is unhappy, i've no complaints of my girlfriend. when we started dating, three years ago, i did it because it was fun and easy. we didn't argue or bicker over anything stupid, and we still don't to this day. but that's my issue. i was always sort of passive, in a sense. i just let us get serious because it was easy to. though i would tell myself, if ever the relationship becomes too much work, we'll end it and that will be that. however, that moment never came, in 3 years. and now i find myself with a girl that i adore (who wouldnt after spending three good years with someone) but that i don't see myself being with forever but neither do i have any concrete reason to end it.

In the meantime, whenever i go out with friends or in class or any kind of social setting, i'm always tempted to go mingle with other girls.

I know that nobody could possibly make my mind up for me. but i'm just looking for advice. thanks in advance for your replies

**IndiReloaded** · 03-09-11, 06:18 AM

Go mingle with other girls. You are twenty. I'm amazed you stuck with one girl this long. Ppl normally outgrow their highschool sweethearts.

**girl68** · 03-09-11, 06:26 AM

^agreed.

I'm totally against marrying your one and only or first anything. You all too often need to have a sample of something else. And that in no way reflects how good (or bad) the partner you left was.

**surfhb** · 03-09-11, 07:41 AM

Gawd! Dude.... You should be ****ing a different girl every month! Or more! I hate hearing stories like this. Settle down when you're in your 30s

**Ric** · 03-09-11, 08:28 AM

I've got nothing against settling down with your first love. For some people it works perfectly.
However, it's not very common, and considering how you're feeling it seems as if you ant more.
No matter how good the relationship might seem on paper, that might simply not be enough for you.

If you felt like this for a long time then it's fair to the both of you to break up and do some casual dating with others. Not like a girl wants to stay with a guy who isn't into her all that much.

**throwaway** · 03-09-11, 08:37 AM

Thanks for the replies!

But i keep thinking of the ramifications of breaking up with her. and it's gonna be really hard. after 3 years our lives are so intertwined that it'll be hard to untangle it all when it's done. we share ALL the same friends. it's daunting

**Ric** · 03-09-11, 08:39 AM

There are almost always ramifications to a breakup. If you share friends then bet on having awkward moments.
That's no reason to stay off a breakup.

**IndiReloaded** · 03-09-11, 08:58 AM

Look, there's no reason to breakup when things are perfectly fine. But just don't make excuses to stay when you feel its time to move on. Life is short. You won't be 20 forever.

**smackie9** · 03-09-11, 10:07 AM

You are not ready yet for a wife so why are you wasting your time in uni being in a committed relationship. You are already wanted to wonder after other girls....that is your brain telling your heart its time to go and enjoy the fruits of life...marriage is hard liven so get out there and enjoy it while you can.

**jb1111983** · 03-09-11, 10:59 AM

You obviously yearn for more experience than perhaps you'd like to believe. Get out of the relationship before you cheat on her with another girl. You're just 20 and shouldn't think about marriage and all yet because it just doesn't work at that age. When you're a little older and wiser with more experience you can think of settling down maybe in your 30s. Until then go out there have fun

**Lillypond** · 03-09-11, 11:21 AM

There is nothing wrong with enjoying your life AND enjoying it with a girl. People make it sound like marriage is the end of your life. lol. If you want to mingle with other girls than do it. But if you find that partying isn't all that cracks up to be, don't be surprised either. I went through a phase and it wasn't all that cracked up to be, honestly. I rather be in the comfort of belonging to someone. But that's me.

**jb1111983** · 03-09-11, 12:07 PM

I agree with you Lilypond but OP does sound like he wants more experience. Girls give him attention not just because he may be attractive but also because he also gives them his attention and kinda likes to flirt with them. As for me, I don't see marriage as the end of life. I see it as the beginning of another exciting journey with the love of your life. But I still think it's good to enjoy your life before marriage to the fullest so you don't look back and miss it when you're married. Once you're married, I don't think you should do things on your own anymore.

**JJP** · 03-09-11, 08:55 PM

I disagree with a lot of the others in thinking that people shouldn't stay with their childhood sweethearts. Sometimes that is when the most ideal person is met. And what is better then spending your young years with the person you are completely in love with? But saying that, I don't think you are in love with her. If you have feelings like you say, it is probably time to move on.

**smackie9** · 04-09-11, 01:28 AM

I disagree. From a females perspective, a relationship is forever (fail)....to a guy who hasn't had a chance to have experience with other girls will be on here 10 years later feeling regret and wanting to leave their marriage. Of course if the feeling is right and there is no hesitation you know you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, that's great, but its very very rare. If it isn't dealt with now, there's gonna be a slip up, and hes gonna find himself telling her he cheated. If the urge is there, their 20 years old, they are here for a reason......they want to be reassured that the decision they know they will end up making wont be the end of the world.

**smackie9** · 04-09-11, 01:41 AM

No marriage isn't a bad thing.....its only a bad thing when you have a misconception of what's involved.

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