I do what he asks, but then he tells me he doesn't want it.

[xostarchickaxo]

I've been talking to this guy for a while now via text message, and last week we finally hung out for the first time. He told me before we hung out that he thought I was attractive and he wouldn't be objected if anything happened beyond friendship. He also told me that he likes girls that make the first moves.

Well, the first time we hung out, we were being really friendly but flirty also. At the end of the night, I wasn't sure if he was into me that way or not, so I didn't want to make a move and risk it being awkward or rejected. I was just about to get out of the car when he put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. This led to us making out and messing around for about an hour. He was obviously enjoying it, if you know what I mean, haha.

The next day, he expressed that he didn't like having to make the first move and I needed to next time. So a few days later, he invited me over to his house. We went swimming and I put my arms around him and kissed him and made all the moves, just like he asked. Again, he was enjoying it and the night ended on a good note with him kissing me goodnight and telling me he couldn't wait to see me again.

A few nights ago, he said he was having some friends over for a going away part for a mutual friend of ours, and invited me over. Before I showed up, he text me saying that none of his friends knew about me, so he didn't want me to do anything more than friendly around his friends. I didn't really know anyone at the party, so I was mostly just listening to conversations and making small talk with people, giving him his space to see his friends. I didn't want to hang all over him or make anything look suspicious. When I was leaving the party, he offered to walk me out to my car, where nobody else was around. I tried to kiss him before I left and he turned his head away and gave me a hug instead.

I hadn't heard from him for a couple days, so I finally text him last night to see what was up. Out of nowhere he tells me that he thinks we need to slow down and just build a friendship and he didn't want to guarantee anything more than that right now. I asked him what exactly he was implying and where this random request came from, and he said that I was being pushy and he wasn't ready to move forward so fast. Again, I was confused, so I asked him why he thought I was being pushy, and he said that I kept making moves on him and he wasn't ready for it yet. I told him I thought that's what he wanted, and all he kept saying was that he wants to build a friendship first.

Now I feel like we're moving backwards, and I have no idea why. I actually like this guy. What does all this mean?

[Luke315]

It's not fair to you for him to be equivocating like that. Talk to him directly about it; tell him he owes it to you to be upfront about what he wants, and stick with it.

[Pool Shark]

Ditch the jerk! You went to a party with him, he basically told you not to talk to him in front of his friends, then when you put moves on him which you know he likes he said no! Come on now! I wish I could find a girl that was willing to be that flirty with me and kiss me and what not. You seem like a great catch and he seems like a jerk. Find someone that isn't to worried about what his friends may think about him dating a you, trust me they are out there

[whateverworks]

He's just not that in to you....

[carl1222]

Oh for the love of Pete! I don't know if this guy is a game-player, a control freak or just an a**hole. What I do know is that he would not be a good boyfriend. Cut your losses.