...he said in front of me and his parents that he was considering joining the army. It hurt and we subsequently had a discussion about it where he said we are too young to be considering each other in our future plans. That's fine , I have now come to accept that. But the fact is that it would have been nice to have been told separately. It felt like he wasn't considering me or my feelings in his plans; which I do.
Yes, this was a major decision that he should have talked to you about before he told anyone else. Sounds like he is inexperienced with relationships, or just plain immature.
Secondly he’s stopped saying “I love you“.
Hmm.
Our year anniversary is coming up – I haven’t got much money as I have just graduated and trying to find a job (he does). I am willing to put aside the bit of money I have so we can have a nice night/ or do something at least together. But he was like “oh no don’t be frivolous with your money, are you not expecting to have other anniversaries”. To me, if this early on we’re letting this get in the way of our celebrating anything, what the hell is it going to be like if we were to last??!
Well, don't let money or presents define your relationship. What happens when you run out of money? Do you get a divorce? Do something free like take a walk somewhere new, or cook dinner at home, or rent a movie.
So, he may be less interested in the relationship based on your observations. But you have to have a serious talk with him about this to be sure. You will have to learn to talk to your partner about all kinds of things if you value the relationship. So, I suggest start practicing now.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)