Read and please help. Im lost and not sure what to think.

[mikemike]

Hi everyone i just signed up and am very new to this. Well as you read my topic im very confused and need some advice. I have been in a relationship for 7 months now. Shes 20 and im 21. Im not going to get into much detail, so im going to get straight too it. Weve fell in love and were crazy about eachother. I care about this girl so much ts not even funny. My problem is basically what to believe. In the beg she told me she only had slept with two guys. Which made me think, wow thats not a lot at all. Recently i caught her telling someone shes had sex with 8 ppl or it could be 6 or 7. Which is still not that bad but is quite a jump up from 2...I confronted her and told her that the past is the past and i just want to know and i wont be mad. Considering most of it was when she was in h.s. She told me that a person was texting her pretending to be a friend and that she was just trying to mess around with them....When we first started having sex she deff felt like she only has been with 2 guys. But now i catch myself thinking if its 8 or 2 ...or if shes lying or if shes not. Help please.

[VNLifegood]

I find that in a situation like this you need to consider what matters to you most. Whether she actually has been with more guys than she said she has been with or not.
The next thing, any relationship is built upon trust. That's a core foundation and being able to discuss with one another what's bothering the other is essential. Whether that's in a light or heavy matter depending on the phase of the relationship.
But definitely look at yourself, what you want from this relationship and ask her the same if you feel it's necessary. If you want it to be a long lasting relationship, you should clarify with her that you do trust her, and she shouldn't trouble that trust for that will be the undoing of the relationship.

How exactly did you come to know she told that "friend" she slept with 6-7 or 8 guys? Is that individual a friend of yours but not of hers?

[mikemike]

Its a very confusing situation. She texted me at work one day saying cool one of your friends pretended to be like one of mine. Turns out someone had been texting her to get answers. We my partner told me she knew it wasnt who they said they were so she just basically fooled around with them. She sent me the convo and i just dont understand why she would say the things she did...she knows i dont mind it being 6,7 or 8 being that it was in highschool, and it was in the past and that she had a very hard high school exp. so i dont feel like with her knowing that she would still lie. stuff doest add up. and like i said im stuck thinking about it.from time to time whether shes telling the truth or not.

[VNLifegood]

Alright, I am slightly perplexed. If I am getting this right: She said to another individual who she wasn't friends with she had sex 7-8 times. And that individual is your friend.
Not sure why your friend feels the need to involve themselves in your relationship, that always tends to rock things in a way but when it comes to her, you have to choose for yourself if you believe her or not. If you cannot believe her and you have your doubts, you will most likely run through a cascade of problems. Meaning: Life's just going to get tougher with her if you cannot trust her. It's a foundation. The support for your relationship.

[Andariel]

I have to say this all sounds very odd. Has she given you any other reasons not to trust her in general?Have you noticed anything else that makes you feel that something is up?

[HungryHippo]

Wow weird, I am in a similar situation, except I am your GF. First of and the best piece of advice I can give you is NOT TO GET HUNG UP ON HER PAST if you are. It has the capacity to destroy your relationship. I essentially had the same situation - before I was with my boyfriend I had slept with one person. He however, had heard from other sources that this was a lie and it was in fact more.

a) it is in the past - let it go. She was open with you and told you what she wanted you to know. This was before she knew you, you cannot hold it against her. Does she hold your past relationships/conquests against you?
b) if she did lie, which she may have done. All girls are guilty to wanting to look good in front of their new boyfriend - let it go. It again was in the past, if you know that she is true to you and wants to be with you this should be enough.
c) you say she told another friend or whatever that it had been more - I don't know her but maybe she's the type of girl that wanted to look good too in front of her peers - many guys seems to do this - inflating the number of girls they have in fact been with.

I agree that trust is the foundation of your relationship - but believe me accusations like that can kill a relationship. Sadly when my boyfriend and I had this conversation, inevitably some unkind things were said (towards me).

If she has given you no other reason for mistrust, and you feel you can, and you are as happy as you say you are - let it go.

Hope that helps.

[smackie9]

Oh just let it go! This has been an on going topic on this forum. Stop poking around in her past. The exact details are none of your business. Girls are usually quite leary about their number because guys can turn into a douche about it...it's not fair. So it's no wonder she is hesitant to give you the striaght facts....you are being a jerk about it already. Things would have been fine if you just asked if she had already had sex before and left it at that.

[bulrush]

I don't care about a person's past. What matters is how we get along right now. If she used to be an escort, fine with me as long as she is honest about it. Honesty and communication are important to me.

What's important to you? What others think about your gf and her past sex partners? You know girls want to explore different boys when they are young, which I think is a good way for them to find out with whom they are comptatible. Because marrying someone you are not compatible with, and spending the rest of your life with them, is not fun.

And after that, who cares what your platonic friend said your gf said? Maybe your platonic friend is not being honest.

[smackie9]

I don't care either. If they want to reveal what they are comfortable with that is fine. The past is.......well in the past, and you can't change it. As far as I'm concerned is how I'm being treated now. I guess the older you are the more understanding you get.