I've known for a while that I've wanted to get out of my current relationship, but it's really hard to find a chance, and I'm always very scared of the outcome. I've finally decided I really need to though. I'm just not happy, and in fact, completely down about what this relationship has become. I find my girlfriend extremely irritating and completely annoying now. It's gotten so bad. She does things that bother me so much and when I beg her to stop, she simply will not until I have to push her off of me and then she cries about it. She can't go a day or even a few damn hours without seeing me and there's so many other thing I could write about but it's not worth even typing. I just want to end it.
I shouldn't have gotten into something with someone so immature, but that's the lesson learned I guess.
Worst part is, she's gotten very violent lately. We've been together for about 8 months, but as of the last few, whenever we get into a fight and is escalates, she starts pushing me and then will slap me in the face, scratch me, even bite me, hit me any way she can for no good reason. Our fights are always about something stupid. And almost always erupt from an action of hers. I can't take this violence. The whole relationship is draining on my mental and physical health. The thought of being single and maybe even with anyone else makes me extremely happy.
So I know what I must and want to do, but it's gonna be a huge speed bump for me. She's more than in love with me, she's obsessed with me. She's told me hundreds of times I'm the best thing in her life and the bets thing that ever happened to her, etc. (when in reality, she's just a typical young girl who hasn't had enough serious long-term relationships to know any better, because our relationship is utter shit). Like I said, can't be without me for a day. And she has pretty low self-esteem and a history of self-harm. I'm worried she might really hurt herself or attack me (this makes me sound like such a wuss, but I can't believe I'm serious) and I don't want to physically fight her.
I would really love to have the decency to break it off in person, but with her explosive anger and how violent she has gotten towards me and my property in just little fights, I'm very afraid to do so. I feel like I'd have to do this over the phone, and maybe have a note prepared that I can drop in her mailbox or something long beforehand and tell her to go read it (reason for the note would be to get everything out. I tend to forget everything when I have to say it to someone.)
Is the note a bad idea? I guess it might just give her leverage to call me back up and detest anything written in it, or just pick a fight.
I also have a small problem which is my sister's car is parked at her house while my sister is out of the country for a year. I live in an apartment where there aren't enough extra spaces to leave another car parked 24/7. I fear she might trash the car out of rage and I can't think of any good way to get the the car first. She's used to seeing me every day, and she's pretty much always home unless she's with me. If I show up and take the car, she'll know what's up, that might initiate a fight which would just lead up to the break up. Best thing I can think of is getting a friend to drive me there. I don't want a friend to get involved and have her pick a fight with them in person or later over facebook just because they were there, but this might be my only option.
Ugh, I could type for hours, but it's not worth it. bottom line it I just need to end this already to be happy and I'll have to sacrifice her happinness. I just don't want her to kill herself or something.
Anyone had any experience like this before? Any advice on dumping someone with low self-esteem? Has anyone ever had a dumpee kill themselves over them???
Any insight on how to initiate the whole thing would be nice too. Even just some support to help me build up the courage to do it and get over it would be awesome.