What a story

[gahdrider]

Ok i will try to make this as short as possable. My wife of 15 years and i were swingers. I went to a week long school for work. while i was at school she told me she wanted to go out with one of her (non-swinging) girlfriends to the beach for a piriate festable and will be staying the night since i would not be getting home until late. she called me that friday afternoon around 4pm and i told her i was about 2 hours from home. she told me she just checked into the hotel but if i would of told her i was coming home early she would not have went. she did not come home until saturday afternoon around 1pm. I was pissed and told her i thought she should have been here waiting on me. she stated she wanteed to see her girlfriend. i am thinking dam you just went out with her and the rest of the girls when i was gone not 4 days ago. like i said i was pissed and told her i was having feelings for a girl i was seeing with her permission. she told me i had two choices stop seeing her or move out. i told her i dont know if i could stop seeing her so she told me to move out which i did. we really never talked for about 2-3 months after that. then we kind of started to see each other in a non sexual way and i stoped seeing the other girl.
we had a divorce pending at this time. well were were seeing each other so i thought she put the divorce on hold but i was wrong the divorce happened about 3-4 months after we started dating again. I did not fill an answer to the divorce complaint because we worked out a seperation agreement so i forfieted my right to be notified of the final hearing. i did not know i forfieted my right to be notified of the hearing. about 1 month after the divorce we go on vacation she thinking i knew we were divorced but i did not know. and i was thinking we were still married. we had a good time on vacation, slept in seperate beds but we had fun. we went out the week after we came back from vatcation and had a talk thats when i found out we were divorced. she thought her lawyer was going to notify me thats what she was told. she also found it strange that i did not say anything about the divorce. ok it been 6 months since we started talking now and we make plans for another vacation. the last 4 weeks i ask if she wanted to go out on the weekend and shes been telling me she has plans with the girls. we have been seeing each other about 2 times a week. either she would come to my house or i would go to hers. well about a week go she tells me that she needs time to figure out her feeling. I have not heard from her in 8 days. we have plans to go on vacation in about 2 weeks and if were not going i need to cancel the reservations next week.
Ok i know i screwed up. I appaligized to her told her i dont want to swing anymore and that i have changed what do i do?

[MerryH]

well about a week go she tells me that she needs time to figure out her feeling. I have not heard from her in 8 days. we have plans to go on vacation in about 2 weeks and if were not going i need to cancel the reservations next week.

Cancel the reservations if you're going to lose deposits, or whatever. If not, wait until she contacts you and ask her if she still wants to go. But you were pretty terrible to her while you were living together so you should probably just leave her alone forever for her own sake. See if that woman you left your wife for is available.

What's a piriate festable?

[bulrush]

I think he meant "pirate festival". In Hispanic languages the "v" is very soft, so it sounds almost like a "b", and he may be using a phonetic spelling.

Anyway, this relationship sounds very confusing and I would not spend money on a trip until things stabilize between the two of you. Do you want to get back together with your ex-wife because she is familiar? Or because you two are truly compatible and no one else is more compatible but her?