Girlfriend locked her phone...

[loganelder]

Ok, I have another post going but figured I would start a new thread to get more accurate responses.

I have gone through my girlfriends cell phone twice...I know that sounds bad at the surface but here is why

I was sitting on her bed and a text came in from a guy that said "i had a really good time...."
so I went through and discovered she had been talking to this guy for well over a month and went on dates with this individual.

The next time was a day later and again, I was by her phone when it went off and it was a message from her EX that said "I love you baby" and it turns out they had been messaging back and forth with eachother for our entire relationship calling eachother baby, i love you, etc etc.

that was it...


Now a few months later I noticed that everytime she gets on her phone she has to enter a password...
this concerns me greatly.

I will admit that I have a problem with jealousy because of things that happened in the past with us but I am actively trying to fix it and ultimately get over my jealousy. But I cant just sit by and not say anything about it, it just screams that she is hiding something.

I plan on going over to her house tomorrow and very politely and calmly telling her that I noticed she locked her phone and I just want to know why. If she gets defensive and mad and has no legitimate reason, I will ask her to show me and if she refuses I will leave and never talk to her again. If she can give me a legitimate reason and it seems fair I will accept it and try and look past it.

How does this sound?

[bloodtippedrose]

Now a few months later

A few months later? WTF? That should have been a talking to and a defining area in the relationship. Why was this not resolved then? Did you keep it, and these feelings, to yourself this whole time?

[loganelder]

No. I mean now, a few months after all this happened, I noticed she locked her phone. About 2 weeks ago

[bloodtippedrose]

Why dont you say these things as they're happening? Right when you noticed it was locked? Right when you read the text from her ex? Why do you let it stew in your head instead of confront her and have a conversation about it right away?

[Charlie Boy II]

You don't have a jealousy problem. You have a girlfriend problem. As in you need a new one.

[bloodtippedrose]

That too. I dont understand why you put up with it for so long. Talking to the ex is red flag but exchanging I love yous is a deal breaker

[HungryHippo]

This all sounds a bit shady to me especially after what you've seen on her phone. Though - instead of beating around the bush - ask her. It's hard because you'd be admitting to looking through her phone but in this instance it is totally justified. It is CLEAR she has done something wrong. SO SAY SOMETHING. Don't just sit quietly.

As a back story to show a lock is not always bad I myself put a lock on my phone for other reasons - parents might look at it, there are photos of me and my boyfriend on there that I'd rather anyone else not see, the usual stuff!

[loganelder]

well she lives alone and has absolutely no reason for a lock on her phone.
I am on my way to her house now so wish me luck

[bloodtippedrose]

I think the contact with her ex's is unacceptable but locking her phone is not. I have a lock on my phone and I dont have anything incriminating.

[Mathias]

I have a lock on my phone, and nobody knows the password but me.

It's for work, but there are justifiable reasons for this other than to hide dirty texts. Although, that's a nice side effect.

[loganelder]

I didn't get to talk to her this morning but I am going over after work and I am going to give her a chance to explain her reasons for having a lock on her phone. Whatever the answer is I plan on asking to see her phone and if she refuses then I will leave her on the spot. It's going to be extremely difficult and she is stubborn to no end so I am not expecting a very pleasant outcome.

[Cerby]

Wait wait wait, she was dating someone else while you were together AND telling her ex she still loved him?

Don't you have any self respect? Why wouldn't you have ended it as soon as you found out about that?

[bloodtippedrose]

I didn't get to talk to her this morning but I am going over after work and I am going to give her a chance to explain her reasons for having a lock on her phone. Whatever the answer is I plan on asking to see her phone and if she refuses then I will leave her on the spot. It's going to be extremely difficult and she is stubborn to no end so I am not expecting a very pleasant outcome.

youre not even reading our replies. Or taking them into consideration if you are reading them. You are just as stubborn as her

[HeartIsAching]

Ok, I have another post going but figured I would start a new thread to get more accurate responses.

I have gone through my girlfriends cell phone twice...I know that sounds bad at the surface but here is why

I was sitting on her bed and a text came in from a guy that said "i had a really good time...."
so I went through and discovered she had been talking to this guy for well over a month and went on dates with this individual.

The next time was a day later and again, I was by her phone when it went off and it was a message from her EX that said "I love you baby" and it turns out they had been messaging back and forth with eachother for our entire relationship calling eachother baby, i love you, etc etc.

that was it...


Now a few months later I noticed that everytime she gets on her phone she has to enter a password...
this concerns me greatly.

I will admit that I have a problem with jealousy because of things that happened in the past with us but I am actively trying to fix it and ultimately get over my jealousy. But I cant just sit by and not say anything about it, it just screams that she is hiding something.

I plan on going over to her house tomorrow and very politely and calmly telling her that I noticed she locked her phone and I just want to know why. If she gets defensive and mad and has no legitimate reason, I will ask her to show me and if she refuses I will leave and never talk to her again. If she can give me a legitimate reason and it seems fair I will accept it and try and look past it.

How does this sound?

It doesn't sound bad "at the surface", it IS bad.

If you are so insecure, and have so little trust in your relationship, just end it. Without trust, there's nothing worth preserving.

[PainfulLonging]

She locked her phone because you went through it twice.