Things he did not tell me

[elmore44]

Three years ago I became involved with a childhood friend and a about 6 or 7 months ago we started breaking apart because it was not working because of we did not get along. He has a very strange temperament, moody, irate at times, and sometimes shows signs of bipolar. He is easily aggravted and at times I was scared of him and being around him. Could not understand why he would be very short tempered and mean if you did not do things he wanted you to do. So we kinda grew apart. So from past behaviors and run ins he has had, disorderly conduct and smoking marijuana (got off on these cases) I felt something did not add up and that he may have had a prior record based on his unstable and compulsive irrational behaviors with his anger. I did a background criminal record search on him about a month ago and my suspicions were right. He was charged with four crimes in the same incident with the same girl of rape, 2 counts of rape w/predator specification, assault and sexual violence. I asked him about and he stated he was not convicted of the rape because he said he did not do it and was found not guilty. He stated the girl was a drug addict and wanted to perform sexual acts on him and when he refused she told the police he raped her. I am afraid and uncomfortable to be in this man's presence anymore after this because I see him totally different as a stranger now. It is like a I was seeing a stranger all this time with a hidden past. I knew he had some issues with temper because he verbally abused me by calling me bitches and all sorts so his criminal record started to make sense. It all started to come together like a puzzle and make sense once I found this out. I asked him why he did not tell me and he said "You did not ask." What the hell kind of response is that. So he was hiding this all these years and I was with him with all that shit in that past. Do you think he should have shared that with me. We were trying to make this work and it almost became serious until I started seeing side of his personality that were not quite normal. He claims he loves and misses me but I have my doubts about having any further intimate or romantic relationship and just moving on. Finding this out has helped me get it out of my system after all these years. Should I trust this guy in any way or be friends. I need advice.

[MerryH]

Should I trust this guy in any way or be friends.

No.

I am afraid and uncomfortable to be in this man's presence anymore

Stay away from him, then. You don't owe him your friendship. Never be around someone who makes you afraid or uncomfortable.



P.S. His explanation of the rape charges sounds like bullshit. Keep in mind that there was enough evidence to arrest him, charge him, and take him to court for rape, assault, and sexual violence. It's very likely that he got off on a technicality or had a good lawyer. If you're still not convinced that he's a dangerous person, do a little more digging and see what has to happen for a person to get charged with those things. Maybe that court case is public information. But really, being scared of his violent temper + the rape charges should be enough to convince you that you shouldn't be around this person.