I wonder if I let 'the one' go

[geekygirl]

One year, I met a great guy. We were a good couple and most of our friends agreed. We were both alike and really understood each other. Things were great for about 4 months at which point he went back home to visit his family. He was gone for 3 weeks and he didn't call, text or email me the entire time. On top of that, when he came back, he acted as if nothing was wrong. I was furious because when I asked him what happened, he said nothing, he'd just been busy. Long story short, I broke up with him. I don't know if I overreacted or not but at the time, I was very hurt and angry. How could he have ignored me for 3 weeks?!

He really tried to get back together but I was adamant and eventually he backed off. I dated someone after him for a few months but I never forgot him. It's been a year but I still think of him. Sometimes I want to pick up the phone and call him but then I stop myself.

Was I right to do what I did? If not, should I give him a call? I don't want to regret this forever.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You got nothing to lose by calling. If he takes you back, try not to be such a dumb bitch this time.

[geekygirl]

You got nothing to lose by calling. If he takes you back, try not to be such a dumb bitch this time.

Ouch, that was harsh! How could he have gone 3 weeks without contacting me? Of course I was upset!!

[bulrush]

He was rude if he never contacted you for 3 weeks. I believe he sees you as a "summer girlfriend" or something, like a temporary girlfriend. He doesn't really care about you. If you contact him, that's your choice, but I think you will always be the "temporary girlfriend".

- Did you ask for more than to be a temporary girlfriend? How did you ask?
- Did you ask to date exclusively?

OTOH, some countries have bad phone or internet service. Is this the case with his home country?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Ouch, that was harsh! How could he have gone 3 weeks without contacting me? Of course I was upset!!

It was harsh, but I'm glad to see you saw passed that. That's an excellent question you pose, though. My question to you is, did you call/text/email him at all? Anyway, the reason I was so harsh is because he begged and pleaded with you, but you wanted to have your fling with your new guy, instead of give him a chance to make amends. Now that it didn't work out, you want to pull your old toy out of the closet..bitch move.

[geekygirl]

He was rude if he never contacted you for 3 weeks. I believe he sees you as a "summer girlfriend" or something, like a temporary girlfriend. He doesn't really care about you. If you contact him, that's your choice, but I think you will always be the "temporary girlfriend".

- Did you ask for more than to be a temporary girlfriend? How did you ask?
- Did you ask to date exclusively?

OTOH, some countries have bad phone or internet service. Is this the case with his home country?

No, I definitely wasn't a summer/temporary girlfriend. We were exclusive and I know he was serious about the relationship......I'm 100% sure about this. You're right.....his home country does have bad internet service but still.......I don't think that excuses 3 weeks of not saying anything. I don't know.....I'm confused. Everyone says when a guy finds someone he really loves, he finds a way to keep in touch. If he really loved me (which he said he did), couldn't he have found a way to say something even once? OTOH, it's bugging me that it's been a year and I'm still thinking about him. I should be over him by now!!

[geekygirl]

It was harsh, but I'm glad to see you saw passed that. That's an excellent question you pose, though. My question to you is, did you call/text/email him at all? Anyway, the reason I was so harsh is because he begged and pleaded with you, but you wanted to have your fling with your new guy, instead of give him a chance to make amends. Now that it didn't work out, you want to pull your old toy out of the closet..bitch move.

OMG! That's not true! I waited 3 months before I saw someone. I didn't have someone lined up and waiting!! And yes, I emailed him a few days after he left but he never answered. That's why I was so upset with his casual attitude.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Point is, you said he tried really hard to get you to hear him out and give him another chance. After all this time, why now?

What makes you think he'll be different now? Have you changed to the point that this behavior wouldn't affect you the same way?

I think he'll be receptive to you, but in what capacity, is anyone's guess. Like I originally said, you got nothing to lose by calling. My suggestion is that you be direct. Tell him exactly what you want; holding back will not yeild any results that you want.

[KingZ]

BackUpOrGetStng is a bit of an idiot.

[geekygirl]

After all this time, why now? What makes you think he'll be different now? Have you changed to the point that this behavior wouldn't affect you the same way?

I don't know why now....I just can't stop thinking about him. He's always on my mind. I think it's because I really liked him. We were good together. I don't know if he'll be different. I know he was genuinely shocked when I broke up with. I'll never forget what he said, "But I love you.....why are you doing this?" Not to be a drama queen or anything but his words still haunt me. I'm not sure if he'll even want to talk to me but for some reaosn, I feel like I have to apologize for what I did. I have to get some closure on this matter.

[HeartIsAching]

Probably a bad idea to call him.

He's probably gotten over you by now, and doesn't think kindly of you at all.

You were absolutely right in feeling upset because he didn't contact you, but you pulled out the ultimate punishment card - the breakup card. Now you're regretting it and wanting to say "Wait, wait! I didn't mean it!"

If some ex of mine did this, I'd laugh and hang the phone up.