have been cheated on

[vampiress]

I never did when my BF of 3 years cheated on me. I was devastated, but I didn't go into a psycho rage over it.

Oh really!? And what would be your answer when someone occasionally asks " the wedding is off! Why?"

[smackie9]

I would answer of course, but I would never go out of my way to announce it to the world or give too many details about it. I confided in my GF at college and my dad. I sought out some counseling with the school counselor and did my best to move forward rather than dwelling on it. I just wanted to get past my sadness and pain.

[simmo]

I never went "psycho" about it. People asked and I told them. Hell her mom even asked and I told her. I never sought "revenge." I was relatively calm when telling people since everyone knows everyone it would have been pointless to make even more drama. Anyway, I know I shouldn't have answered I'm not going to again seeing how I've blocked her number. But it actually did help me realize more that I'm better off without her. Plus hanging up on her while she was talking was quite satisfying actually.

Funny thing about her blaming me. Because that is essentially what she did when it first surfaced. She tried to project negative qualities about me to her friends to justify her actions. My favorite was she claimed I was being controlling when I was simply acting out of suspicion. How moronic does one have to be to think that I wasn't acting that way because of her UNFAITHFULNESS? Honestly. She kept complaining about us fighting all the time, when we kept fighting about one thing. THE FACT THAT SHE WOULDN'T CUT CONTACT WITH HIM. I made the analogy to her once that her annoyance to all the fighting was completely ridiculous by saying is was like she was complaining about starving and then once being brought food, refusing to eat that food, and continuing to complain about starving. She "wanted" to work things out, but wasn't willing to do what was necessary and blamed me. She's just a moron, self centered, and really has too many insecurities. She's easily manipulated and lacks as stable sense of self. These are all things I have analyzed about her due to NC. She is already bipolar, but I've developed as strong feeling that she has borderline personality disorder. Either way I feel sorry for the next guy. Genuinely sorry.

Another interesting side note. I met one of her ex's and we talked. She basically went bapshit crazy on him so he ditched. I'm not the first nor do I believe I will be the last guy to witness her transformation from an amazing person to "holy shit, who are you?"

[vampiress]

Sometimes it's just too hard to look people in the eye and tell them to mind their own business when they ask "what happened?"

[smackie9]

Wow that's just crazy....

[smackie9]

Sometimes it's just too hard to look people in the eye and tell them to mind their own business when they ask "what happened?"

How about saying "I do not wish to talk about it at this time".

[vampiress]

huh? try this 3 month after the break up?

[smackie9]

Who cares....you owe no explanation to anyone. Then you say, things just didn't work out, I have moved on and wish not to dwell on it. End of story.

[smackie9]

I don't recall ever asking someone details as to why their relationship or marriage had ended. I just say I'm sorry, ask if they are doing ok, and leave the offer if they ever need someone to talk to about it I'm there for them....then leave it at that. If they don't want to disclose why I don't pry.

There are ways to put the message across that it's none of their business without being rude. Maybe being Canadian has something to do with it...we are taught that it's not polite to ask lol.

[smackie9]

I never went "psycho" about it. People asked and I told them. Hell her mom even asked and I told her. I never sought "revenge." I was relatively calm when telling people since everyone knows everyone it would have been pointless to make even more drama. Anyway, I know I shouldn't have answered I'm not going to again seeing how I've blocked her number. But it actually did help me realize more that I'm better off without her. Plus hanging up on her while she was talking was quite satisfying actually.

Funny thing about her blaming me. Because that is essentially what she did when it first surfaced. She tried to project negative qualities about me to her friends to justify her actions. My favorite was she claimed I was being controlling when I was simply acting out of suspicion. How moronic does one have to be to think that I wasn't acting that way because of her UNFAITHFULNESS? Honestly. She kept complaining about us fighting all the time, when we kept fighting about one thing. THE FACT THAT SHE WOULDN'T CUT CONTACT WITH HIM. I made the analogy to her once that her annoyance to all the fighting was completely ridiculous by saying is was like she was complaining about starving and then once being brought food, refusing to eat that food, and continuing to complain about starving. She "wanted" to work things out, but wasn't willing to do what was necessary and blamed me. She's just a moron, self centered, and really has too many insecurities. She's easily manipulated and lacks as stable sense of self. These are all things I have analyzed about her due to NC. She is already bipolar, but I've developed as strong feeling that she has borderline personality disorder. Either way I feel sorry for the next guy. Genuinely sorry.

Another interesting side note. I met one of her ex's and we talked. She basically went bapshit crazy on him so he ditched. I'm not the first nor do I believe I will be the last guy to witness her transformation from an amazing person to "holy shit, who are you?"

You poor thing. Well it's a good thing you are out of this crazy mess. best of luck on yer next GF. That's the thing about dating, you have to kick lots of tires to find the right one and along the way you might end up with a lemon or two lol.

[vampiress]

I don't recall ever asking someone details as to why their relationship or marriage had ended. I just say I'm sorry, ask if they are doing ok, and leave the offer if they ever need someone to talk to about it I'm there for them....then leave it at that. If they don't want to disclose why I don't pry.

There are ways to put the message across that it's none of their business without being rude. Maybe being Canadian has something to do with it...we are taught that it's not polite to ask lol.

Just because you have good manners doesn't necessarily means that people are going to Avoid hurting you... but I'm no Canadian and I hate to pry anyway......

[smackie9]

If you put it out there that it's not going to be discussed, people will back off.

[HeartIsAching]

Wow that's just crazy....

Sometimes it's a hard thing to learn. I do it now easily, but I didn't always.

[simmo]

Sometimes it's a hard thing to learn. I do it now easily, but I didn't always.

I don't really understand what you're saying here.

[vampiress]

If you put it out there that it's not going to be discussed, people will back off.

I don't walk around badmouthing my ex. but when people ask what happened I'd say we broke up cause he cheated ... simple... if he's so Ashamed of what he did, maybe he shouldn't have done it in the first place..