Do you trust Your GF with a Gay

[informationseek]

Hey all, I am the girlfriend and I just want you to hear my side. I do have a gay friend. I have known him for 15 years - almost twice as long as I have known my boyfriend (who I love and adore!) Let's get a few things straight though...First, I have offered for the three of us to get together and go out. He has already met him several times and they even workout at the same gym. In the 15 years I have known my gay friend, I have only been to his apartment twice - after shows where he has been a music director - and there has been a celebration party. The one breakfast we had was on the first day of school - we work at the same school - and another co-worker was going to join us until her child got sick. I do not call and text him all the time. However, I certainly don't find anything wrong with a "Happy Birthday," two word text, to someone on the morning of their birthday. I was at school helping to decorate for his birthday because several parents and students that are in his choral booster club wanted to do it and needed me because I have master keys! Even though we work at the same school, his classroom is on the total opposite side of the building. We don't even see each other everyday. We don't "date," and we don't even go out socially together. I think twice we ran into each other at Starbucks, but didn't even plan it.

What can I do??? I love my boyfriend, but he has a hard time believing anything I say about this friend. He has gathered probably every time my friend and I have done something together in 15 years and thinks we are together all the time. It is driving me crazy and we can't even talk about it rationally anymore. I let him check my phone, my facebook, my emails - I have nothing to hide! He keeps saying, "See it from my side," and I guess I should be flattered that he is jealous, but there is no reason to be. We have been together 9 years and I have never once cheated on him or even thought about cheating on him. I am not made that way. I have been more than forgiving of him for some indiscretions...Please help! What can I do to help him get over this?????

[searock]

So he lied about not meeting this friend of yours? If you are saying the truth, he is way too paranoid and obsessed for it to be flattering. It's actually rather disturbing.

[informationseek]

Yes, at a 2010 Christmas concert, and several times at the gym they both workout at.

[searock]

So why do you think he is so jealous and untrusting?

[vampiress]

Man! I don't trust "me" around a gay ... especially if he was... gorgeous (y' know) ..... but sometimes gay friends are cool. I mean they go shopping and do girly stuff with you and everything.... Not That There's Anything Wrong With That......

[smackie9]

I have a question.....How long has this jealousy been going on? 9 years is a long time, and he has known your friend that long, so I have to wonder if his reaction is out of guilt. If this jealousy has intensified recently, your BF is up to no good. His jealousy could be out of a guilty conscience and he has been flirting with infidelity.

[HeartIsAching]

So, according to your better half, you've met him, you've been invited to go out with/over with the two of them... what's the problem?

As a matter of fact, my wife HAS a gay friend, and she lived with him for about 6 weeks at one point last year. No, I don't have a problem with it. You shouldn't either.

[vampiress]

I'm telling you man gay friends are cool......as long as you trust your girlfriend... there should be no problem.

[Wakeup]

I have been more than forgiving of him for some indiscretions..

I'm with Smackie. I think next time he becomes jealous you tell him are you jealous because of your own indiscretions, you don't trust yourself to be faithful so you are projecting onto me?

[vampiress]

I have a sneaky feeling that someone is trolling here?!

[informationseek]

We just moved in together. That's a lot of adjustment. Everything not just fun, fun, fun anymore. He gets to see the boring side of regular life, lol. He's a professional fighter and just had a serious injury which caused him to have to cancel several important fights in his career. I think there is just too much down time at the moment. We'll get through this. I just want him to talk to me instead of strangers. Only we both know the whole story. But I do love him enough to be patient. Now that I have seen this forum, I am not as worried as when I saw "Love Forum" on the address bar.

[informationseek]

And no, I really am his girlfriend. Not trollling.

[Wakeup]

And no, I really am his girlfriend. Not trollling.

So is this the truth:

I told her last night that I wanted to double date with her gay friend, me and her and he and his boyfriend. She said she doesnt want to do it, she wouldnt feel comfortable.

.. and if it is, why would you not go out together as a double date.. or spend time the three of you? Why would you be uncomfortable? If it's not the truth then your boyfriend is a liar and I fear he has been punched in the head one too many times and is now a paranoid delusional.

[bulrush]

She claims he is gay, but how are we to really know? Does anyone else know he is gay? Can you confirm it?

OTOH, girls find gay friends to be fun and sociable, which many girls really like. Straight guys are not always sociable.

[HeartIsAching]

If he does not trust his girlfriend, then he should just walk. If he does trust her, he'd take her at her word.

I swear this concept seems to be impossible for some people to get. Trust is trust. My wife could tell me she was sleeping in the bed with her gay male friend and I'd be ok with it. Or a straight one, for that matter. I know for a fact that she wouldn't "go there"... I just know it, because I trust her, and she says so.