could he like me or is he a homophobe?

**jasonsiska** · 19-09-11, 03:30 AM

I'm a 16 year old guy and a closet bisexual... I have a major crush on this guy in my school. Last year I caught him staring at me a few times (he's a football player and he always sat the bench... lol anyway, he would usually stare at me when he was on the sidelines and in the halls at school) I told one of my friends I thought he was cute and she told him. He IM'd me on facebook and asked me and I denied everything. He basically told me to stay away from him... When second semester came, we learned that we had 2 classes together. We got sat by each other in each class... In each class a few other people and I noticed that he was staring at me. And whenever I would look at him, he would quickly look away. He usually acts hyper and stuff, but when I get around he acts more awkward and quiet. He avoids all eye contact with me too. Whenever I made the people around us in class laugh, he would always look down at his desk or feet and laugh too (he was trying to hide his laughter). He did that quite a bit. He's come up to me a few times and tried talking(I accidentally ignored him.. I didn't know he was talking to me once and I didn't hear him the other time) but then I tried talking to him in the halls and he acted annoyed the whole time. It's summer now and he came into my work one(a pizza place.) I have never seen him there before and he came after I posted on my facebook where I worked (could just be a coincidence though). He wouldn't even look at me the whole time he was there... I recently asked him on facebook if he still hated me and he said he didn't hate me, but he still doesn't like me that much.
Plus, he always calls stuff "gay" and stuff like that(which i did when i was i was younger too. i usually did it to make myself sound more straight so that people wouldn't suspect anything) Some of the stuff he does actually reminds me of stuff i did when i was younger and denying my sexuality. I'm really confused and I just want to know what you guys think. i've asked a few of my friends that are girls(one of the girls has even saw him staring at me too and actually asked me about it.) and they said that they think he likes me too... but i'm still unsure.. it's confusing. i forgot to mention that we did talk to each other in class one day. we were in class before everyone else(the bell had just rang) and there were a few other people there. we got to talking and i made him laugh and he laughed like he would regularly.. he didn't try and hide it at all.. but whenever other people get around, he tries to hide it.. also, he made me laugh one day during class and when he saw that i was laughing he looked over and smiled at me. This school year just started and I've already caught him looking at me a few times..
Also, a little bit more about him. He is religious(christian). he's not like crazy religious, but he does go to church and whatnot(he doesn't really act like a christian though) That might offer a little bit more insight.
New Details:
We had class elections wednesday and I ran for president and won. And apparently, he voted for me. Also, today in one of our classes, we were trying to pick colors for some type of thing and he kept trying to get me to vote with him. He also listens pretty closely to what I'm saying when i'm talking to other people around him. Like, he'll focus all of his attention on me. Also, in one of our classes, i overheard a conversation he was having with someone and I decided to reply. When i looked back to reply(he sits behind) he wasn't smiling and he was kind of slouched in his chair. As soon as I replied and he heard me, he immediately fixed his posture and he got the biggest smile on his face.. His whole face pretty much lit up... Nothing much more to add. But if anything else happens, i'll post it..
Sorry for how long this is.

**Wakeup** · 19-09-11, 03:48 AM

We couldn't possibly know if he likes you but going by the number of times he's told you to stay away from him and that he doesn't like you then I suggest that you don't pin anymore hopes on this guy. It almost sounds like you're obsessive about him when you shouldn't be if he's clearly uncomfortable with you and has told you several times that he's not interested. If he's gay or bi and wanted to be with you, you'd know for sure by now because you've given him enough chances to come clean ~ yet he still hasn't.

**searock** · 19-09-11, 09:08 AM

Thing is, even if he does secretly like you, there's nothing you two can do anyway, since he seems pretty determined not to be close to you as a boyfriend/partner. You should probably move on. Or else, if you really have a huge "hunch" that he's actually into you, try talking to him face to face (with nobody around), ask him directly whether he likes you as a boy or not, and tell him you like him. Whatever his answer/reaction will be, it will be your definitive answer. You seem pretty popular and you have lots of friends, so it's not like you'd risk anything by being honest with your crush.

**irishsweetheart** · 19-09-11, 01:03 PM

sounds like you should befriend him, if he is bi or gay he is probably scared of coming out. speaking as a bisexual adult, being a teen and being gay or bi as you probibly know can be very hard. i didnt come out fully till i was 24. just be his friend and if he is interested he will tell you.

**MerryH** · 19-09-11, 01:56 PM

Originally Posted by searock

try talking to him face to face (with nobody around), ask him directly whether he likes you as a boy or not, and tell him you like him.

He already did this, though, and the guy said he "still doesn't like [OP] that much." I think it should stop there, unless the other guy makes an overt gesture, or something. I agree with the rest of your post, though.

**searock** · 19-09-11, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by MerryH

He already did this, though, and the guy said he "still doesn't like [OP] that much." I think it should stop there, unless the other guy makes an overt gesture, or something. I agree with the rest of your post, though.

Hm yeah but he did it on facebook... I'm suggesting he talks to him directly, in real life, to see how he reacts with body language etc. He'll understand whether he's just shy and confused (like if he gets all defensive) or if he really isn't interested (if he is cool and relaxed). And he should definitely tell him that he has a crush on him, imo.

**bulrush** · 19-09-11, 09:24 PM

This guy might be interested in you but doesn't have the balls to admit it. He sounds like trouble, because, as a member of the football team he is expected to act tough and "manly". Just don't get your hopes up with this guy, ok? You can't help someone who can't even admit who he is. He might be curious, but he'll never admit it. I'd bet money on that.

**Wakeup** · 19-09-11, 11:52 PM

Actually, this sounds like the plot to a Glee episode.

**bulrush** · 20-09-11, 03:23 AM

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Actually, this sounds like the plot to a Glee episode.

Crap. I think you're right.
Troll?

**Mathias** · 20-09-11, 03:24 AM

I like the part where the only two options are "he likes me" or "homophobe".

**bulrush** · 20-09-11, 03:31 AM

How about another option: "he likes me but is too afraid to act because he's on the football team and the team would give him tons of crap about it."

**Wakeup** · 20-09-11, 04:26 AM

Originally Posted by bulrush

How about another option: "he likes me but is too afraid to act because he's on the football team and the team would give him tons of crap about it."

You should change your signature to read: "I WILL enable you by telling you what you want to hear."

**nestorz** · 20-09-11, 05:04 AM

He doesn't like you.
He isn't gay.
He looks at you sometimes because you're in his presence, you are delusional about him looking at you all the time.
He won't be with you.
He isn't interested in you.

GIVE UP, you'll have tons of guys and girls who will be great for you, you don't need this one.

I'm not talking crap because in high school a guy had a big crush on me and he tought I was maybe a closet homo. The truth was I looked at him just to play with his mind and it was fun for my and my friends to make him feel like crap.
Teenage boys are quite homophobic, it's a fact. Go away from him, don't be a stalker.

Excuse me, not homophobic. They find gays ridiculous, weird and even if one would be gay, there's no way he would ever show you that when he's 16 and on a football team.

Give up, it's for your good.

Good luck.

**Confused__guy** · 20-09-11, 05:10 AM

As everyone said already, there is no way for us to know. Sometimes, when we crush on someone, everything means everything to us. Every look, every touch, every conversation is exaggerated. One thing against this is that some people have also noticed this, so it can't be all in your head.

I think that besides your two options (Homophobe vs. Crush), there is a third one: "He doesn't like you, he knows that you like him, so he is uncomfortable around you and feels bad about it (and acts hot and cold because of it). When he tried to talk to you, look at you and whatnot, he was, maybe, trying to make you feel better. But he is not homophobic".

It is just another option for you to consider, all options are possible.

You could ask him something like "Why are you always staring at me? Am I that horribly disfigured or that beautiful?" In private and face to face, with a laugh on your face. It is away to jokingly test him and read his body language and such.

In High School it mustn't be very easy to be bi/gay, so, if he likes you back, it is possible that he will never admit it to you. As a football player he is "expected" to act in a certain way.

So, in conclusion, jokingly confront him face to face.

Good luck

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