I'm so confused. Can someone help me?

[Greekniko23]

So there's this girl I have been dating on and off for almost 4 years now. We're both 19 by the way. We've never really had a true boyfriend/girlfiend relationship because we couldn't see each other enough. This is because she works full time and even took college courses during high school. Anyway, we are dating again and it seems like we're finally settling down a little bit. We are able to see each other more and are both getting very comfortable with each other. I really am in love with this girl. These last four years have been a tough battle but she's the only one I'd go through it for. The great thing is that we can talk for hours without getting bored. She really cares about me, my interests, and my goals. And she always pushes me to be my best in whatever I do. The problem is when it comes to the physical part of the relationship. I'm not really talking about sex, but just when it comes to things like kissing. Whenever I try to take things a little bit further she says she's not ready. We've never really fully madeout, just small kisses. I'm just wondering why after all this time, she is still not ready. It makes me insecure. I mean I happen to be a good looking guy and am not a bad kisser either, but sometimes it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. And she's the kinda girl that doesn't like to cuddle and basically she's not into all that mushy stuff. Should I talk to her about it and find out the reasons why she's not ready?

[nestorz]

Tell her that you have a problem with this lack of intimacy and ask her what the problem is.

If she keeps doing the same things, dump her.

Yes, you care about her alot, but it's not normal to have a relationship without intimacy.

If she doesn't want to make out with you after 4 years, she either doesn't find you attractive in that way or she has serious issues.
And both of these things are a sign for you to leave her.


One more thing. NEVER EVER let this make you insecure. She has some issues obviously, it's not your fault.

[searock]

This is just half a relationship. The emotional part is all there, but the physical one is completely absent. So yeah, sorry to break it to you but you're not into an actual relationship.
That said, you should probably talk to her about this and how uncomfortable it makes you feel. It's not normal for her to claim she is in a relationship with you if after FOUR YEARS (and it's not like you two have just turned 15 or something) all you share are "small kisses". If you were in love with one another, you would want to have a lot more than that. Unless of course there are things about her that you don't know (or aren't telling us) - is there a possibility she has been raped or molested or something, perhaps as a child?

[Greekniko23]

This is just half a relationship. The emotional part is all there, but the physical one is completely absent. So yeah, sorry to break it to you but you're not into an actual relationship.
That said, you should probably talk to her about this and how uncomfortable it makes you feel. It's not normal for her to claim she is in a relationship with you if after FOUR YEARS (and it's not like you two have just turned 15 or something) all you share are "small kisses". If you were in love with one another, you would want to have a lot more than that. Unless of course there are things about her that you don't know (or aren't telling us) - is there a possibility she has been raped or molested or something, perhaps as a child?

You see that's what I'm afraid of. She might have some emotional baggage that I don't know about.

[searock]

You see that's what I'm afraid of. She might have some emotional baggage that I don't know about.

I think you definitely need to communicate more. You've waited enough, you really should discuss this situation, if you want to save your "half-relationship" - and turn it into a whole one perhaps.