27-year old virgin - and I'm going insane, how do I keep it together?

[CommonSense]

This is kinda long, so kudos to whoever makes it through the whole thing, but I'd appreciate any input/advice

So I'm 27 years old and I'm still a virgin, also never dated and never been kissed. I know, it is rare and no one more than I finds it to be very strange, trust me. It's not because of religious reasons like waiting for marriage (Atheist) and I'm not necessarily waiting for the "right one." Not that I'm going for a one night stand, I just want to experience a dating life (meet many types of women). I don't have the best confidence level, and it started from an early age, probably around 10 or so. I've always been pretty short (5'5") and it hurt my confidence for a long time, and it still often does. It's mostly bothered me since most women always want a guy to be significantly taller than them (closer to 6' and taller) because it makes them feel protected and feminine. So you can imagine how discouraging it is to know that most women dont' feel feminine around me.

But that's not the biggest issue to my confidence level. I think it is primarily my being socially inept/awkard. Since I was young (around 13/14) I just kinda assumed I wouldn't fit in with social groups so I never really made attempts to be social (going to parties, school dances, etc.). So I kind of missed out on a lot of the social experiences of teenage years (including dating girls). I did have friends, but as we got older and they started dating, having more mature relationships I kind of got left behind. I kept thinking "don't worry about it, you're still young it will happen" So I didn't think going to college a virgin/no experience with girls was a big deal. But college ended up being a similar experience. Now don't get me wrong, I became MUCH more social as a result of going to college but as far as making relationships with girls it just never happened. I graduated college having made no progress with girls.

Now as for my interaction with girls it isn't like I'm stone-faced and scared straight or anything like that. In fact, there was a girl that I worked with at a temporary job while in college and I felt very comfortable with her, and I was very interested and attracted to her. I asked her out, but got shot down. I felt like crap and really depressed, but I was at least proud of myself for taking some risk. But as the years have gone by since my teen years it seems like I'm more and more worried how I'll be treated by people (meeting new friends) and especially women when/if they realize I have 0 experience with women. It's like I just lost track of time and now I feel totally embarassed to be a 27-year-old virgin.

So I know what I need to do to solve my problem:
1. Stop feeling bad for myself
2. Gain confidence
3. Meet more people (especially girls)

Now #1 and #2 are sort of "in my head" things to work out. #3 is what I'm most worried about. Especially meeting women and trying to explain after they ask about my past girlfriends or relationship history, or what to do when I finally start a sexual relationship with a girl.

I assume women my age and even younger expect any guy they go out with to have some relationship experience, so how would women feel if they find out about my lack of experience?

Should I try to find younger girls (20-25) to date, that maybe are not expecting as much experience as a girl my age?

I'm living at home until I find a internship/job in my field, but when I do and move somewhere where I need to make friends, how do I deal with worrying about making friends with guys when I have 0 experience with girls? I'm afraid no one would want to be friends with a guy like me due to my lack of girl experience, and I know getting a large social circle is key to meeting girls...

Thanks to anyone with the patience to read this to the end

[spunkyhungry]

I understand where you're coming from, since I was always shy and started dating later than my peers. I don't think you have to worry about scaring people off with your lack of experience. If someone asks you about your dating history, just say "I haven't found the one yet." You don't have to go into more detail. It's your business.

[smackie9]

Well as soon as you get a job, the workplace will be your oyster. You find the right place of employment you will develop relationships with people you work with. You will end up being a part of a social group and go out after work for drinks or dinner, etc From there you will have invites to parties and activities and so there your social life begins.

I suggest you take an assertive training course and maybe one for public speaking to gain some confidence....maybe take some dance lessons. Get your feet wet.

[smackie9]

Height can be a stereo typical type issue but I know guys your height that are happily married with kids. So that isn't really your problem....your lack of experience and how you project yourself is what is stopping you.


What you can also do, if being a virgin in an issue.....go seek out a hooker to get you over that sexual anxiety hump....pardon the pun.