Help Please!!

[starryeyedgirl]

I am 54 and have my own home - been divorced for 6 years. I am in love with a great man. I have been seeing him for 16 months and I know he loves me as well. He is building a new home that should be complete in a few months. He wants me to marry him. I thought I was ready until he told me that when something happens to him - he wants the house he is building to to to his ex wifes grandchildren who he got very close to when they were married. So I am giving up my home and then feel like he doesn't care what happens to me if he dies. (He is 10 years older than me) I feel like he isn't concerned about what happens to me when he is gone. Am I being selfish to think he should leave the house to me??

[Saya]

So his ex wife's grandchildren is his grandchildren too? Or are they not blood related?
Maybe he wants to give the house to the grandchildren because you already have a house??
Why don't you speak to him about this and see whats he says?

[starryeyedgirl]

The grandchildren are not his blood relatives. And if I give up my home to move in with him - I won't have anything. My home is not paid for - would not make much if I sold it. His home is paid for.

[Saya]

It's a bit strange that his leaving his house to his non-blood related grandchildren...
Have you spoke to him about this?

[ms_law]

It's a bit strange that his leaving his house to his non-blood related grandchildren...
Have you spoke to him about this?

Honestly, they dont have to be blood related for someone to leave them property in their will. A person can do what they want with their belongings.

and to starryeyedgirl, i don't think u should give up your home...it's definitely a buyer's market out there. But one thing I can tell you is that, the women in my family always told me that when you get married make sure you have your money. It's probably best that he doesn't know about it, so you can protect yourself in case anything happens.

I'd suggest you offer your home for rent, hopefully this added income will help pay off your mortgage while you're away living with him in his house.

And since relationships are about compromise, maybe you can offer him an alternative. Maybe you can explain to him how you feel about what might happen to you when he is gone. I'd suggest maybe he give you the home when he passes and when your time comes, the home will then go to the grandchildren. I think that is fair.

Or otherwise, you'll still have your house after he dies if you rent it out and will still have a home if that doesn't work out.

I think it would be unreasonable of him to make you give up your home and you have no place to stay if either it doesn't work out or if he passes on before you.

Hope it works out...

[thetrickster]

is love so easily conquered by material things?

talk to him - maybe he has good reasons - it's not like you're each others first serious relationship...

?