My GF has finished with me....devestated

[runnytadger]

Hi all, not sure if there's anyone can help, I just need somewhere to 'talk'.

Months back I posted on here about my gf cheating on me (kiss), I forgave her then she decided she needed time to think and she eventually decided she did want to be with me. We got back together but things weren't as they were.

We would see each other all the time and we did and still love each other very much. But I had a fear of losing her and starting putting her first. I wasn't happy and it didn't feel secure. I hoped it would get better then the sex stopped and any time we did have sex she felt pressured and it certainly wasn't how it was. We used to have loads of sex. I brought it up with her but it didn't make a difference and made things more awkward. We did have sex once but I could see it in her eyes she didn't 100% want to do it. She's always talked about wanting to work as a nurse in another UK city for a year as where I live it's hard to get a graduate staff role, then she would consider going travelling. I mentioned to her, if this is what she really wanted to do then she didn't really want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her but she told me she wanted both and didnt want to lose me. I moved jobs from an offshore job a few years back as I hated being away from her! Anyway one night she came round and had been thinking about what I said and actually agreed, she'd also noticed our relationship had been more like being close friends (little sex) and it was not what it used to be. She wanted to stay the night and be with me but if she was breaking up with me this would be too painful. She got all her stuff and left. We've spoke a few times and we are both very much in love with each other and miss each other so much. I cannot stand it. I haven't eaten properly for a week and I'm so down. It's pathetic. She mentioned wanting to keep in touch as she'll always love me but I told her no chance as it'd be too hard but I cannot stand the thoght of not speaking to her. The thought of her being with other people doing thigns we did makes me wake in the night and lay there just thinking. I've lost some I love more than anything even though I have reasons not to, but it's my heart that loves her and I cannot change this no matter how hard I try. She tells me she's struggling to let me go and cries all the time. I constantly find things of hers around the house and text her to tell her to collect them when I'm not in but these texts just keep going, I can't not text her and it fu*king sucks. I know what I should do but I can't let her go. We've agreed to respect each others feelings and neither are thinking about being with other people. This would actually ruin me

What can I do? I've written lists of her bad points but I still adore her and miss her dearly. I'm up and down all the time and it's affecting me at work, I've already taken days off to lie in bed crying. It's pathetic and I don't know what I can do.

Help

[oldskool83]

you accept that they make new women everyday, you also accept that you need time alone. And you let her go, you dont own her and i hope you read a codependacny book because it sounds like you need to bady for better or worse.

[runnytadger]

I have let her go, I'm not begging her to come back or anything, I'm just finding it hard being without her. I've just read a bit into co-dependancy and it seems to be the case...at one point it was her that was the more dependant one.

[smackie9]

You are just going through the greiving process, the death of a relationship. In a week or two you should start feeling the waves of pain subside. And as you go along, you will have less and less contact with her, moving onto not thinking about her as much because you are focusing more on yourself. In about a month you will feel a great weigh has been lifted from your shoulders, and you start to look forward to other things.....and finally you have moved on feeling happier.

[runnytadger]

You are just going through the greiving process, the death of a relationship. In a week or two you should start feeling the waves of pain subside. And as you go along, you will have less and less contact with her, moving onto not thinking about her as much because you are focusing more on yourself. In about a month you will feel a great weigh has been lifted from your shoulders, and you start to look forward to other things.....and finally you have moved on feeling happier.

I like that. Thanks man. The waves of pain are absolutely savage when they come. Other times I feel ok. I'll always love her though :-(

[Simple Love]

Give the both of you a little bit of time to breathe and think about things...You don't have to let her go...There is always hope with getting back together with an ex no matter what...For now take it slow and learn the steps to rekindle what you once had with you ex...

[runnytadger]

Please somebody say something to make me feel better. Today is painful as hell.

[runnytadger]

please. just a few words of wisdom. sadly I'd take her back if she turned up at my door now when I know I shouldn't! Why am I like this?

[Toddstar]

I am not sure what anyone can say to ease your pain; channel some self-pride, take a deep breath, accept it for what it is and live your life! You WILL be ok, I was you less than two months ago. Now, I can see very clearly what I want, where I am going....and she is not part of it! Love yourself! Go look in the mirror, tell yourself you love yourself and SMILE. Just let go for now. You will be ok!

[smackie9]

Only time can heal all wounds..... you have to grieve your loss in order to release your emotional attachment to her.

[runnytadger]

Only time can heal all wounds..... you have to grieve your loss in order to release your emotional attachment to her.

It hurts so bad. I feel so empty and lost. I know these are what everyone will feel but it won't go away! When I think it does it comes and crushes me again. I miss her heaps. I haven't eaten properly in a week!

[smackie9]

Your system is going through shock. Give it another week, if it doesn't get any better seek out a doctor to prescribe you tranquilizers.