girlfriend taking away our time to study

[hkm5]

hi everyone,
i (28) love my girlfriend (25) but things have been very rocky nowdays with a load of fights...most of the problem stems from the fact that we used to live together for the first 5 months of our relationship and for the past 2 months we only have alone time Sunday 5pm to 9pm, Tues 1pm to Wed 4:30 pm per week. it is a drastic change but i can live with it as long as she makes every effort to dedicate those time slots for us..i mean yes that's three days but it's really not much since sundays are short and we lose Tues 2am to about 11:30 am because she has to sleep. that leaves us with weekly 22 total hours awake together that we can actually spend time...but the 22 hrs itself is a problem because she has a roommate now (she used to dorm single before) and we can't even enjoy each other physically without having to watch out all the time...as a man you know its frustrating...but anyway i can live with it because its not her fault and i understand...

what i don't understand is that last friday, she told me not to come over sunday because she has too much to study...i told her i understand but i became angry when i called her that night knowing she ends her waitress shift at a bar at 10pm...called her at 11 pm...she was still there drinking apparently trying to rectify matters with a bartender dude that pissed her off during work by taking all the customers....eventually she left the bar at 1:20 am very drunk...i yelled at her for spending 3.5 hrs drinking at the bar when she told me that she has no time to see me on sunday because she had too much to study...my point to her was how does that take 3.5 hrs to clear up matters?? i was mad because she knows how preciously i try to preserve our time together at all costs even if it means having to pull all nighters to get my work done SO THAT i can meet her...yet, even though i don't expect her to study right after work, she could have went home, slept, woke up 3.5 hrs earlier next morning to save that 3.5 hours she wasted away at the bar...she didn't do it although if i were in her situation, i would have done that...anyway, i ended up going over sunday anyway...now she says since we chilled sunday which she should have spent studying, she is gonna have to use our tuesday to study all day...i understood and even told her i'll tutor her for 5 hours to help her through...she said she can't spend any time having quality time with me on tuesday other than occassional 15 minute breaks. so she's planning on studying like 12-13 hours i guess? i told her after i tutor her for 5 hrs, im gonna go chill in her room by myself while she stays in the study lounge....i wasn't happy with it but i thought i had to understand so i did.

but now, i call her tonight at 7 pm and she's sleeping! she woke up at 11:30 am (after 8.5 hours of sleep) today and she's already sleeping? makes me wonder how hard she's trying to free up our tuesday. i mean it is ultimately her choice to sleep whenever she wants but if she doesn't put in as much effort as me to free up the little time we spend together, i'm not sure she values our time as much as i do...and im scared to go head over heels, dive in, do everything i can to free up our days if she's not doing the same for me....am i being unreasonable?? maybe she can't handle all these time consuming responsibilities right now?? its really not the fact that she tells me she needs to use our time to study...i can support that but it seems that she uses her time alone to sleep, drink after work, etc, and then makes up her lost time with OUR time. i feel that using OUR time is definitely an option and i can understand that but ONLY if she uses that as her LAST option... please give me honest opinions...

[MerryH]

You are far too controlling and clingy. Also, it is way creepy how you keep tabs on her so closely and know exactly when she wakes up and goes to sleep.

You yelled at her for hanging out at work for a few hours. That's horrible. She should be able to spend time with friends or coworkers without you getting angry that it's eating into your time with her, or whatever. You've really got to be more flexible and less demanding.

I'm not sure why you're so angry about the events you described. You still went over there. She made time for you on Sunday because you threw a fit about her going out. And you're still going over there on Tuesday. By the way, why? Why do you need to be up in her shit while she's studying? I think you should back off. A lot.

Honestly (remember you asked for that,) you sound like a terrible boyfriend. Your other thread isn't going to win you any World's Greatest Boyfriend Awards, either.