Can't get over this.

[rosered]

My bf and I are over 40 and have been together for 4 yrs. We went to a rodeo with his best friend and his wife. The best friends wife also brought along a couple she is friends with. I don't know the other couple. While waiting for my bf to return from the rest room he got a text from the wife of the couple I don't know. She is good friends with his best friends wife. She asked where he was and that we were ready to go. I had his phone in my purse and that's how I saw the text. Didnt say anything that eve about it and he didn't even speak to her or act as if he knew her. The next day he told me he had gotten to know that couple from hanging out at his friends house. We live an hour apart so we don't see each other daily. Says she texts him funny forwards. Turns out he has this ladies number and another of his buddies wife's friends numbers in his phone. For the same reason he says. Weve had some problems in the past with his flirtatious behavior with other women and I guess that's why I'm feeling weird about this. Would you just blow this off or would you not care for it as well. I have weird feelings I guess because he doesn't have the husbands number in his phone if they are all friends. Weve been around this couple one other time and again they didn't even speak to each other. If it's just friends why don't they act like they know each other while I'm around. Don't want to embarrass myself over this. My bf talks about marriage all the time. What do you think about all of this?

[devonbrown]

I think he likes getting attention from women. It might be perfectly harmless, but he might be insecure and/or an attention whore. If you have no reason to suspect him of cheating or doing anything wrong, then don't assume that he is.

as for why he doesn't have the husband's phone number in his phone, there could be lots of reasons for that. 1) The husband may not like doing a lot of texting, etc. on his phone. 2) The wife might be the main communicator for both of them (especially if the husband is a little more introverted). or 3) Your boyfriend may just be more comfortable talking with women (which could be because of his attention-seeking tendancies).

Deal with the two of you based on the two of you. If you have concerns, ask your boyfriend, but not in an accusatory way. Just talk to him.

Good luck

[James Banes]

Yeah, he likes getting attetion from other women. Ask him about it though. Don't let it boil inside.

[rosered]

Thank you for your advice. I guess when you bring up "if you have no reason to suspect him of cheating" this makes me think. I'm trying not to suspect him. I found out back in June that he had been looking at a dating website. He denied it at first but after several long talks he admitted to looking a little bit a long time ago, even though the computer we have both used showed his looking at the websites in the last few days of my seeing it. We took some time off back in the fall because of his flirting making me uncomfortable. We both agreed in the spring we would try again. Then the dating sites. Porn, which I was not completely bothered by, but a little hurt feelings maybe. Then the text messages and womens numbers in his phone. Is this a lost cause or am I being too suspicious. When do you just call it quits?