me an my bf have been together for about 2 years now and it started like a week ago. we hadnt seen eachother in person (he kept saying he was busy) and we havent been calling or texting as much. yesterday he completely ignored me all day he didnt respond to a single text i sent him or answer his phone at all, we always usually get at least a few "i love you"s in EVERY day and yesterday nothing.....
so i finally go over to his apartment later that night to talk to him in person. there was a party in the apartment next to him and i dont think he heard me knocking so i let myself in and i found him in his bedroom HAVING SEX WITH AN OLDER MAN and like i dont mean older by afew years.... this guy is like at least 50-60 and by bf is only 25 like WHAT THE **** is the first thing that went through my mind. i didnt even have time to be hurt by this in that moment.... i just ran outta there so ****ing fast and by the time i got to my car i was crying so hard i collapse in the parking lot. i havent been able to sleep all night ive been crying this entire time
i dont even know whats going on anymore or what i do now or where i go from here ...... im so lost
im sorry if this is hard to read ijust dont even care anymore i dont even feel like living he was my entire world and i dont know if i can work past this one with him
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29-09-11, 03:55 AM #1
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oh my ****ing god!!! plz help wat should i do ????
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29-09-11, 04:06 AM #2
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I'm really sry to hear that this happened. I don't really know what to say, but try to take some deep breathes and relax to the extent you can. Do not do anything desperate despite how much pain you are going through. Do you have some friends/family you can talk to about this? I wouldn't even talk to him until you have at least settled down to the point where you can think reasonably straight. It will probably take a week, maybe even a few weeks.
I don't think that you should even consider getting back with him even if he wants to, but i understand you probably want some closure on this issue. Just wait until you're a little bit more clear headed like i said earlier.
hope that helps, if you need anything else let me know
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29-09-11, 05:43 AM #3
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Wow you got the worst sinario anyone could ever have. There are even wives out there that find out their husband has been living a lie
. There are many closet gays out there, that try so hard to live a heterosexual life, which in my opinion is stupid....better to get therapy and deal with it. My guess he couldn't come to terms with it until recently. No sense in blabbing it to the word until you get an explination from him for closure, but that is if you choose to. It would be best to talk to your mom or sister or someone really close to you for now.....you really need to talk this out. If it were me I would be damn pissed, because he is a coward, and had absolutely no respect for you or your relationship.....he has handled this so poorly, it's selfish and disgusting. Now I'm pissed off too!
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29-09-11, 08:07 AM #4
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You need to figure out what type of job your boyfriend works at. Perhaps the older man was his superior and this has been going on for a while. Or perhaps he's a gigolo and this has been going on for a while.
How close were you, actually?
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29-09-11, 08:16 AM #5
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Get tested , very soon . I havea a gay friend, he has slept with many guys, that came to the island for holidays and left their gfs and wives at home ... Sometimes they didn't use rubbers and such uncommited gays tend to have many sexual partners so it's easier for STD ... Get tested .
I wazzzz here
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29-09-11, 09:46 PM #6
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- Sorry to hear this, it must have shocked you.
- He should not have lied to you about his sexuality. Maybe he is bi, maybe gay, I don't know.
- Do you want to see him anymore? Or just leave him? He did lie to you basically and had a fling. Try to calm down before you make a decision.I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)
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30-09-11, 01:26 AM #7
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Just get out of this completely.....walk away and never look back.
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30-09-11, 02:12 AM #8
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Sorry to hear that, it sounds like he has been using you as his cover which is really messed up. Either way I would recommend removing yourself from the situation. Take a few mental health days off if you can afford to, and think about what you want to do. We already know this relationship will no longer work. You need to find someone who deserves you.
"Sometimes the best way to throw a punch is to take a step back"~Morgan freeman
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30-09-11, 02:38 AM #9
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Am I the only one that thinks this is bullsh*t? Where's OP? She drops a bombshell like she's totally devestated and then disappears. pfffft. Sounds sketchy.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
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30-09-11, 09:03 PM #10
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She's upset she found a lemon party. See lemonparty.org.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)
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30-09-11, 10:28 PM #11
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Good story tho lol......:p
