For me, I like the women to send me the first message. That shows they are interested. It also weeds out women who are bad at communication, too shy, confused, etc., which is critical for a long-term relationship. Then things go like this:
When online dating what message to you usually send to start a conversation?
I say "Hi, my name is really XYZ. How are you?" I talk about something in their profile, then talk a bit about myself, my job, or my hobbies, or something fun I recently did, a movie I saw. Then wait for their reply to see if they open up and share details about themselves.
How do you work out if they are interested in meeting you?
I don't have ESP so I don't guess at what they want. I just ask. After 3-4 messages I say "Let's meet for coffee at Barsucks, Sat at 1pm." Their reply tells me if they are interested or not. Please note how I phrased the date invite. I suggested to them to meet me somewhere, I did not ask. I assume they will say "yes". That shows confidence.
After roughly how many messages sent back and forth would you ask to meet up for a date?
See above.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)