I can't tell if she likes me and it's driving me up a tree

[werdunloaded]

She looks at me all of the time when I'm not looking at her. When I look at her, her eyes dart away. We even walk and talk to the parking lots after every fencing practice. I asked her out about three weeks after we met (seeing each other twice a week at practice before that) but she wasn't interested in a relationship (her last one had just ended) but wanted to stay friends. We did end up hanging out one night and the conversation went well, albeit she didn't laugh a whole lot at my jokes.

However, our fencing group has held a couple of parties, both of which we attended. However, we didn't even talk at the parties. She would look at me then glance away throughout the evening. She would never laugh at my jokes even though most other people did. She would talk to every other guy at the party but me. Today three other guys and we went downtown to shop for halloween costumes. She talked to every other guy there like she was already best friends with them but never tried to talk to me. She also wouldn't say much when I talked to her. At every social gathering, she keeps her distance from me and doesn't seem to show any interest in anything I have to say. However, when we're talking one-on-one after fencing, she seems to like talking to me.

I want to pursue a relationship with her in the future when she's ready, but I feel like she thinks I'm annoying and I'm wasting my time.

Thanks for your help, everyone. If anyone has any questions that I can answer to clarify any of this, please share. I welcome all levels of criticism.

[MerryH]

I want to pursue a relationship with her in the future when she's ready

But she rejected you and now won't really talk to you. I'm guessing she doesn't want to lead you on, so she mostly ignores you whenever possible, but it's harder to blow you off if you're one-on-one, so she's pleasant to you then. I think waiting around for her would be a waste of your time.

[werdunloaded]

Thanks, MerryH. I think I'm just going to call it a day and move on. It's ironic that she seemed really eager to want to stay friends, yet she pretends I don't exist most of the time.

Should I talk to her about it? Not to try salvaging a doomed-to-fail relationship, but simply to have a decent friendship. It's not like our friendship can get anymore awkward than it is now. I wonder a lot whether or not this is just a misunderstanding. If it is, that would be good, but if everything's just as you say, then at least I can put all of this to rest once and for all. I'd rather not let anger be my final emotion and lasting impression of her.

[MerryH]

No, I don't think you should talk to her about it. Just pretend it never happened and try to remain friendly when you see her.

I'd rather not let anger be my final emotion and lasting impression of her.

Then don't let it be. That's up to you, though. Not her. I don't think you have anything to be angry about, anyway. She didn't do anything wrong, did she?

[werdunloaded]

No, I don't think you should talk to her about it. Just pretend it never happened and try to remain friendly when you see her.

Then don't let it be. That's up to you, though. Not her. I don't think you have anything to be angry about, anyway. She didn't do anything wrong, did she?

You're absolutely right. I'll do what I can on my end to be friendly. We're in control of our emotions, and I just forgot. Thanks for the reminder.