I've been in a relationship with a man for close to 3 years now. Our relationship has been on and off during that time. I got a text from him today that said he was going to be meeting with an ex-girlfriend for coffee this week. His text read "im going out for coffee this week with and old friend and youre not going to like it." He knows that I'm very uncomfortable with him seeing her (we've discussed my feelings about this before) and he went ahead and made plans with her regardless. I asked him what led to them getting in touch with each other and he told me that he called her today because he wanted to see how she was doing. When I told him that I'm uncomfortable with this, and long story short, he told me that he was going to do what he wants to do and that I shouldn't be worried or concerned about it. My question is should I be upset over this? What really bothers me is that he completely disregarded my feelings and didn't consider discussing this with me before hand. Is this an issue I should be concerned over? Do I have grounds for being upset with him? What should I do?
+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 7 of 7
Thread: Please help!
-
04-10-11, 07:58 AM #1
Registered User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Gender
- Posts
- 1
Please help!
-
04-10-11, 08:34 AM #2
tremolo Guest
I think it's disrespectful of your ex to do that to you, and I wouldn't put up with it. In fact, my last bf and I broke up because of a similar issue. Clearly, he does not feel that your feelings are important, and he has no interest in protecting your feelings, but would rather maintain his relationship with this other woman.
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be with a guy like that.
-
05-10-11, 06:50 AM #3
Registered User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Gender
- Posts
- 3
Do you have any reason not to trust him? Any reason you think he wants more from his ex? or is your discomfort irrational?
some people can have platonic friendships with exes, so I wouldn't necessarily assume the worst.
But if you have reason to believe there is more to it, e.g. they have hooked up since they broke up, she's his "one who got away," he has been unfaithful with other women, etc., then I would not be comfortable either.
-
05-10-11, 09:04 AM #4
Registered User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Posts
- 15
It's not right for him to disregard your feelings like that. You should be more important to him than his ex. You should come first for him, and if not, give him the boot before you waste another 3 years and you realize he's not right for you.
-
05-10-11, 09:19 AM #5
atada a mis pies.
- Country:
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Posts
- 15,440
do you have a male friend with whom you'd like to go have some coffee? give him a call. then call your boyfriend and tell him all about it.
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
-
05-10-11, 10:21 AM #6
Regular User
- Country:
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Gender
- Location
- Canada
- Posts
- 14,110
You should either be unconcerned with what he is doing and carry on with the way things are or you should tell him that he has every right to meet up with her ... however he does not have the right to meet up with her and keep you too... then you break up with him.
Originally Posted by Ligerlilly
Which one is closest to what you think is right? He has no intentions of listening to you or your concerns.. he's not even willing to compromise by not seeing her one-on-one.“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
-
05-10-11, 07:36 PM #7
Registered User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
- Gender
- Posts
- 7
To me, meeting ex partners is not respectful to the current ones. It is not that much about thinking what they have together but him doing something against your will, knowing he is hurting you. I would talk to him again. But if he is not willing to see your point and find a way to compromise in future, what is he going to do next hurting you without caring? So, NO to seeing exes in general. But maybe I wonder, what his point of view might be. Can he be upset about something and that is why he cares less? By the way, you said your relationship has been on and off for 3 years? Is not there more behind than a coffee with an ex?
