Originally Posted by
Pete69
I need some advice from the ladies. I know what my guy friends will say about this already.
Everyone talks about trust in relationships, and how it's all important to making a relationship work. I completely agree... but:
Are there reasonable limits to what you should ask your significant other to trust you about? Think crazy stuff... for instance, would you trust your guy to spend time with his ex? How about is he needed to spend time with his ex twice a week? What if he needed to spend time with his ex, and wasn't comfortable with you being around while he was with her? What if he needed to sleep in the house she lives in twice a week, and wasn't ok with you being there? What if he needed to sleep in the same bed with her, but told you "We won't have sex. What?! You need to trust me... I love you..."?
Where's the limit past wich it's not reasonable for someone to tell you "You just need to trust me."?
The limit is what YOU yourself can tolerate. If his bullshit is making you a crazy person then that is the limit. This is not like you're a paranoid, insecure clingon.
You see, through a bazar twist of fate, I've found myself in one of the scenarios I listed above, and I just can't handle it. I'm told "You need to trust me... we're engaged" but the situation is just so crazy that i can't make myself ok with it, and I think I may need to end this relationship even though we are engaged, and the wedding is a month and a half away...
What would be the reason why he would HAVE TO spend two nights a week sleeping in the same house as his ex?
I don't know of too many people that would be that naive .. er.. I mean trusting of their SO doing such a thing, The fact you are engaged means diddly squat when he is disrespecting your relationship while he caters to the one in his past.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion