Please HELP ME!!!

[bellisima]

I dated this guy when I was 18, he was my first lover. We had a very bad break up. In which I was even raped when i went to see him, begging him to listen to me, but he wouldnt. I know sounds really desperate, but I was 18.
After 6 years, we started talking again and I was sooooo happy. He seemed to be just as nice like when we met. He told me he is very attracted to me, and Im completely sure he is, but I think I have scared him away.
The thing is that because my feelings for him came back so intense, I overreacted to things he has said. To the point that i have sent him angry messages because I have misunderstood his texts, and even drunk texts that make me look too aggressive. He must thinks I'm messed up and most of my friends think rightly so and that is mostly my fault, but I wish I could have better communication with him, so I can explain, but he once again withdrawed and is not giving me the chance to talk.

The thing is that after I offended him and drunk texted him, he told me that the fact is he is scared of me, and was upset with me to the point he said that was it.
But after a month we talked, and he started being friendly again, and told me he didn't know how close he wanted to get, because I act like a crazy person over him.

Well...then I had to **** up again. I drunk texted him again, and made myself look like a very aggressive person and obcessed, and he told me to try forget him and now is ignoring me.

I want this guy in my life, and I want to change for the better. I have stopped drinking to the point of sending stupid texts and I am trying to control my impulsiveness, but what can i do to convice him to give me the last chance????

Please help

[skyliner33]

I read the first few lines and made up my mind. forget about him. in fact you should have reported him back when he raped you originally. there is NO F*CKING WAY YOU SHOULD LET HIM INTO YOUR LIFE....EVER after he did that.

[bellisima]

No, I'm sorry I didn't explain it well. He didn't rape me, another man did so, when I went to see him.

[smackie9]

Broke up with you for a reason back then, and he sees you haven't changed much so he obviouly is not looking for a second try.

[bellisima]

Broke up with you for a reason back then, and he sees you haven't changed much so he obviouly is not looking for a second try.

I totally understand that, and perhaps this is not the right time for us to come closer as I obviously need to change. But what can I do so we can at least stay in touch as friends and not close the door completely??

[Iegor197]

yeah, u HAVE to quit drinking! that's where all your problems comin again and again! n you still didn't get any lesson out of that!?.. i broke up w my gf cuz of her liking to drink, but after sm time we started dating again, but that took not one-two month to happen. give him sm time to forgive u and then ask him out for a dinner n tell him you've changed, he helped you to change, that you were stupid before n he's such a good guy, u need him, u can't live without him blah blah blah..........
btw there's a nice site i found recently, TheNextText.com if you doubt what to text him, ask there for a text advice before you *** up everyth again! Good luck!

[bellisima]

thanks Iegor

[Wakeup]

I suspect that if he's an ignorer of red flags, (far too many of those out there) then he'll give you one more strike. Three strikes and you're out. Did you ever get therapy to help you come to terms with your rape? Your obsessive personality? Your inability to move on when you've been rejected? I would imagine if you could tell him when you contact him like Iegor suggests that you have gotten some help for your issues that he may be more keen to give you yet another chance. Have you done anything to improve how you react to life's challenges?