He lied and I'm confused.

[amallia]

I'm separated from my husband. We been together for for eight years, but married for three, daughter together. We have been basically trying to work things out, but recently he had been seeing someone casually. He asked me first, I agreed that us trying to work out wasn't working out.

Well, in May I met someone too. A great guy, nice and sweet, funny and charming. Perfect. Too good to be true, and he was. We had a natural attraction to each other. We took things slow, for both of our sake's. He said he was going through a situation with his significant other. He wasn't married, but he didn't love her and had been with her so long. I had lunch with him several times, we kissed once, he sent me some pictures of "himself". I wasn't looking for an attachment right now. I just wanted to feel loved again, even if it was by him and his situation. Everything was fine, he kinda disappeared in September, he said he was super busy and that we could officially "get together" in October. Nothing from him for weeks. I assumed he had forgotten about me. It was impossible to get in contact with him, I was getting frustrated.

He contacted me on a Wednesday and said he wanted to see me. I thought about not responding to him because I was feeling strange about him, like he wasn't being honest with me. I ignored him, he begged me to call him. I did and we planned to meet on the weekend. I called to confirm the meeting, everything was fine. But, he emailed me an hour later saying he was sorry, he really couldn't do this, he was married, he loved his wife and his kids. He said he was sorry for deceiving me, Please don't hate him... I literally felt my heart burning. I was so stunned, I almost fainted.

I knew something was going on with him, but I was blind to it. I wanted to email him back and ask him questions, but I knew it would be futile. I didn't want to hear the answers at that time. Why did he beg me to call him? I can understand him lying to me, he wanted something on the side. But if he loved his wife, why did he send me those pictures? Why did he pursue me? I was trying to forget him by ignoring him. I never approached him, he always did. He sent me pictures of himself, I never did in return. What was he hoping for? Did he just chicken out in the end? I'm so confused. This was one classic case of "What the hell?" I can't understand why he pursued me so much, just to dump and reject me in the end. At least I never slept with him. I'm grateful for that.

[Wakeup]

I just wanted to feel loved again,

What, by someone elses partner? You knew he was involved why did you continue on meeting him and kissing him when you knew he was still in a relationship? This isn't like he lied to you and told you he was single only for you to find out he wasn't. Do yourself a favor and distance yourself from men who say they are "having trouble in their relationship and then pursue you while still involved. What happen to you happens in the majority of cases.

Forget about this man but don't forget the lesson.

[smackie9]

He pursued you because he was feeling detached from his wife. He probably was dissatisfied with his relationship or sex life or both. For a quick fix, he found you and had an emotional affair. I bet money on it she found out he was messin around, maybe found emails or texts. It's possible they came to terms that there were issues in their marriage and decided to salvage what they have, and of course do it for the children's sake.

People who cheat, will lie. And when it comes to cheaters, they are spineless. They hide from their problems, and avoid confrontation....his conscience did get the best of him tho, he did come clean with you eventually. Like Wake up has said this happens to the majority of people. It's all about commonsense.....don't date people that are still in a relationship, period.

[amallia]

Thank you, you are very right. I guess I thought he was unhappy with his life and I never knew about his children, but that doesn't make this situation between us right.

He contacted me this morning, but I deleted the email without even reading it, and I've blocked him from sending me another message. I can't understand what he is doing. I just want him to leave me alone...
I'm even more confused than ever.

[smackie9]

There's a possiblity he is trying to keep you in his back pocket for when he starts to feel dissatisfied in his marriage again. Trust me he is more confused than you are because he can't decide what to do. He is in a unhealthy situation so cutting off this jerk is the best thing you can do.....who needs crap like that?

[smackie9]

If you want him to leave you alone for good, just tell him if he doesn't you will break the news to his wife on what he has been up to.

[Wakeup]

Thank you, you are very right. I guess I thought he was unhappy with his life and I never knew about his children, but that doesn't make this situation between us right.

He contacted me this morning, but I deleted the email without even reading it, and I've blocked him from sending me another message. I can't understand what he is doing. I just want him to leave me alone...
I'm even more confused than ever.

Good for you ~ Kudos.

[amallia]

I have thought of doing this, trust me. And if he persists in contacting me further, I will them him just that. Thank you!

[reetmmy]

everyone needs a kick to the nuts once in awhile.