What do I do from here? Have I allowed my chance to slip by me?

[Spyce]

So as I sit here typing, I can literally feel my heart breaking into smaller and smaller pieces. I'm hoping that somebody out there is able to give me some great advice to help put my mind at ease.

Around mid-to-late August, a new employee was hired on at work. I remember the day he came in asking for an application like it was yesterday. I remember thinking, "Oh god. This kid looks so goofy- like a stoner. He'll never cut it here, I doubt he'll even get an interview." Lo-and-behold three days later he started. I didn't work with him much at first- he's 18 and still in school so we worked opposite shifts for a while.

After that first week or so, we began working together more and more. I began to learn about him through other co-workers and he really wasn't the "stoner idiot" I had pegged him to be. He's actually quite an intelligent individual, and I am the kind of person who is attracted to intelligence.

As the days and weeks passed, we began talking more and more and we even hung out once- we went for a drive around town, just talking. Nothing more. We parked for a while and talked some more. Not about anything in particular- just whatever random crap happened to come into our heads.

After that night, I began to really fall for him. It was awkward for me because I am older- I'm 26 and at work I was his superior, so I didn't want to act on it unless I definitely knew something was there. So I spent some time "feeling it out", so to speak. We'd occasionally text- in fact, in the beginning, he would just randomly text me. Again, nothing special about the texts. I remember he sent me one saying how the transmission in his car was shot.

I'd been unhappy at my job for a very long time until he came around (we'll call him "Frank"). Then, I loved going into work, especially when I knew we'd be working together. Frank was always great to be around. He'd joke and flirt with me. I remember I was outside one day on my break and he was just coming in to start his shift. We talked for a few minutes, and when he got up to go inside, he cupped my chin in his hands. I was scared and nervous so I didn't react. I know I smiled, but that was about it. Then he would come up to me and hug me at random times. We were always talking to each other, smiling and laughing. Whenever he saw me, he'd say things like, "Hey, hey! Just the person I wanted to see!" I really enjoyed being around him. I noticed that at my feeling for him got stronger and stronger, I was turning into a better person. In general, I was much happier, and I had more confidence. I decided it was time for me to get in on the game.

On September 25, I went into work. I was in a super fantastic mood because he and I were working together that night. He had told me the night before that he wanted to train in another part of the store (we worked in a restaurant and the part of the store he wanted to train in was closer to where I worked). So that night, I started to train him. It was an extremely busy night- in fact, it was quite possibly the most difficult night I had encountered in years. We were beyond slammed, and severely short-staffed. But he did great, and we all managed to pull through. After our 3-hour non-stop rush, things finally calmed down for a minute. I looked over and noticed Frank wasn't wearing his hat. So I walked up to him, rubbed the top of his head, smiled and laughed and said "Where's your hat young man?" I then told him I was going out for a smoke in the hopes that he would follow me and sure, enough, he did :-) In fact the cook, Frank and myself all went outside. When I sat down, the cook sat next to me. When Frank came out (and he always did this) he sat himself between myself and the cook. In that moment, I was the happiest I had been in months- if not years.

Then later that night, the store manager came in and told me I had been terminated. I was accused of something I did not do (stealing) and without so much as a warning or chance to try and explain myself or ask for proof, I was terminated. I was beyond livid. I wasn't worried about "What am I going to do for money", "What am I going to do for a job".. I didn't care that I had been let go. In fact, I was happy because I hated my job. I was worried that I would never see Frank again. I was heartbroken. Frank had gone home before I was let go, so when I got him I sent him a text and explained what happened. He was angry that I had been let go- calling the store manager every name in the book.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I called him. I told him that I had wanted to ask him something earlier int he night, but since it was so busy, I had completely forgotten. I then planned to ask him the next day when I saw him again but of course, now that I had been let go, I wasn't going to get that opportunity. I then simply asked if he wanted to hang out sometime. He didn't have to think- his immediate response was "Yeah, sure." I was relived to hear this and told him, "Oh great, that's awesome. To be honest, I was too chicken to ask, that's why I never said anything, but I figure now that I don't work there anymore, I really have nothing to worry about." He didn't react or respond to that other than saying, "No worries, it's cool." and so we began to plan for the next time we would hang out. We never got to hang out like we had planned, and I never questioned him about it, either. I didn't want to come across as desperate and needy.

As the days passed, we spoke less and less. The first few days without my job were the worst. I did nothing but cry. All I wanted was Frank. I just wanted him to hold me and kiss me and tell me everything was going to be OK. As the days passed, we spoke/texted less and less. There were so many times I wanted to just send him a random message, but I had no idea what to say. So I just never ended up text him at all. I went in last week to return my work uniforms and he was working. My heart leaped when I saw him, and we began talking. Again, not about anything special. In fact, he told me how different it was now that I wasn't around. He said it was much quieter and just not as lively. I stood at the counter as long as I could talking to him; I didn't want to leave. But my ride was outside waiting for me and didn't want to keep them waiting for me. After I got back home, I sent him a text saying how miserable things were now that I didn't have a job. I just said that I was going out of my mind because I never had anything to do. But, I was happy that I stopped in and got to see everyone- it put a smile on my face. 6 hours later he finally texted back saying, "Yeah man. It's not the same here." I sent one last response saying how I wished I could just talk to the manager and get my job back, but I knew that wasn't even a remote possibility. "It is what it is," I said. "And I just need to move on.". I haven't heard anything from him since. That was a week ago.

It's horrible because I'm confused and heartbroken. I want to talk to him, I want to text him but I don't know what to say. In the grand scheme of things, I don't really know him all that well. We were just getting to know each when I was let go. I don't even know if he even liked me or not. I'm not the kind of person that will ask. I am extremely shy and self-conscious, but my gut was telling me that, had we been given more time, there was potential for something to develop. What makes the situation even more difficult was the fact that work was where we hung out. Work was where we flirted and played. Now that I don't work there anymore, we just don't see each other.

He's all I can think about. I can't even escape him in my sleep because I dream about him. It just... sucks, and I don't know what to do. I want to be able to see him again. I want to be able to hang out, but since he never showed that day we had made plans, I've hesitated on asking him to hang out again. It's just odd to me because one day we're laughing and flirting and making plans to hang out and then the next day- boom. Nothing. And there hasn't been anything ever since.

So where do I go from here? Do I just need to let go? Or should I grow some balls and get back in touch with him myself, instead of waiting on him, hoping he'll text me first?

[emad]

Mis Spyce I think Frank does not deserve your love , you will find real love be patient

[Spyce]

I'm not so concerned about the "love" part- I just miss hanging around him. I'm not going to lie, I definitely had feelings for him, but it wasn't love. But I wasn't ready to give up on it, either. I wanted to keep the flirting going and see where it would lead. I'm angry at my boss (ex-boss) for firing me because he really (pardon my French) ****ed up a good thing.

I know a lot of people say, "Well, if a guy likes you, he'll get in touch with you. He'll text you. He'll call. He'll... whatever." but none of that has happened. So that's why I'm wondering if I should just bite the bullet and ask him if he wants to hang out again because I know some guys would rather the gril come to them, rather than having to be the one who goes to the girl all the time. I have no idea what we would do- I don't have that many friends where I am and of the two that I do have, one is pregnant with triplets and on bed rest, and the other is socially awkward and almost never leaves his house. I know Frank loves cars and to go hunting, and I figure, since I've never so much as fired off a gun in my life, maybe we could do something that has to do with hunting. But again, that all depends on whether or not I should even try getting back in touch with him.