Please help..... *Should my long term boyfriend of 2 years pay for me?*

[smackie9]

You haven't been to Surrey in awhile I see.....they have torn down most of the old and crappy houses down and building new condos. The city just finished this beautiful new library right in Whalley, and right next to it will be the new city hall. There is all new construction everywhere, beautiful new parks and all the drug addicts live in Maple Ridge and Abbotsford now....so no Surrey is not like east LA, far from it.

[Wakeup]

I thought you were talking about the cost of living there. A house that costs $400,000 where I am (In Ontario) would cost at least $700,000 In BC. The affluence (or lack thereof) of the place didn't even cross my mind.

[tremolo]

I think the issue comes about due to young women thinking and telling themselves amongst themselves that 'guys should pay' if they were a gentlemen. This then frees their money up to buy more make-up, clothes, bags, new iPad etc...

This actually brings up a good point, I think. I mentioned that in my last relationship, my boyfriend - who made significantly more than me, and more than most people I know my age - paid for most of our dinner/activity expenses. I'm sure to him and to anyone looking in from the outside, it seemed I spent very little money on/in our relationship. But there were expenses I had that probably went unnoticed. For instance, since he lived an hour away, I spent significant gas money driving to see him 4-6 times a month. 1-2 times, I'd cook dinner for him, which wouldn't sound like a great expense, but was when you factor 2-3 courses plus wine, plus materials to transport the food such a distance. Every month I bought new lingerie to wear for him, because I wanted to please him and keep things interesting in the bedroom. And around December, he invited me to several functions at/with his law firm which required me to buy new (formal) dresses and shoes, etc., so I could make a decent appearance next to the rich girlfriends/wives who were there. (This took a hefty chunk out of my savings.) Then on top of that, I bought gifts for special occasions, and would try to pay for some meal or activity every so often just to show my boyfriend that I wasn't taking his generosity for granted. All that to say, these extra 'hidden' costs probably added up to as much, or sometimes more, than the cost of my boyfriend taking me out. I'm not sure it's always so easy to keep score of who is spending what on who in a relationship.

Edit: Part of my point, which I neglected to make, is that I am always hearing guys saying that they wished their girlfriends would dress this way, or that way, or maintain themselves in some certain way for them. A lot of that requires money, and I find that I spend significantly more in the early stages of a relationship just on my basic presentation - because we all know how much importance men place on a woman's appearance. And I'm not even talking about manicures, or facials, or whatever... which I consider to be 'extras'.

[Jazzersize]

I used to think it was a fair deal to treat a woman. Women are (sometimes) gorgeous. They spend way more on their clothes, and they look way better in them (and waaaay better out of them). They spend money on their hair and their makeup, etc., etc., etc. So I take her out, spend a tiny bit of money on making myself look nice because I'm a heterosexual man and not some metrosexual boy, and I spend a little money in exchange for the company of this exquisite angel. Not a bad deal.

Except I've learned that if you remove the sexual appeal most women really don't have anything all that appealing going for them. There are the exceptionally sexy ones who literally exist to be sexy and desirable. It's all they do. Go to bars, be desired, choose one lucky guy to go home with that night. I don't even know if I consider them human. Just fleshy ****toys to be passed around until they're old wrinkled relics, still cruising the bars caked in makeup, with their wiry hair dyed a flamboyant color, desperately hoping to snag some guy too drunk to know any better.

And then you've got your career oriented woman. She busted her ass in school. She's got a Master's. She's out every night attending some cultural event. Sipping wine, visiting the gallery. She reads a lot of Oprah books. Unlike the first girl, you can actually have a conversation with her outside the realm of shitty music and TV. However, she's madly pursuing that American Dream. She's knocked out the education, she's got herself a decent job, she may even have a house or at least the downpayment for one gestating in her bank account. Now all she needs is you and your sperm to get a little rugrat gestating in that hollow womb of hers. So what do you do with a girl like this? Tell her you love her, practice the baby-making bit for a while, and then run like hell. I want no part in the American Nightmare. She can willfully enslave herself with debt and a career if that's what's so important to her, but she's not dragging me down. I've got a life to live.

The women I meet always seem to fall into those two categories or someplace in between. They just aren't that interesting. Their company's not worth my money. But sex still is. So I take them out, spend a little money and eventually get laid. It's just a roundabout form of prostitution.

[Wakeup]

Unfortunately there will always be a woman that thinks her vagina will get her a relationship. That is why you are successful in getting your nut. Any woman that waited to bed you, any woman that has a medocre of self-respect would soon want nothing to do with you. That's where prositutes come in handy... to take care of men like you who think the way you do. As I said, unfortunately, you will always be successful. To bad you didn't stick to just the woman that thought like you.. that dinner was her payment for a ride on Jazzersize.

[vashti]

that dinner was her payment for a ride on Jazzersize.

I laughed.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Jazzersize]

When I meet a woman who can hop onto a motorcycle--not the back of mine, but on her own, because what kind of boring person wants to sit on the back of a motorcycle--and who will ride with me to Argentina and back without bitching, without fussing over her hair, without worrying about leaving her social circle behind, I've found a woman who's worth more than ****ing and passing on to the next guy.

When I meet a woman who doesn't just parrot the opinions of the masses but who has her own unique thoughts, I've met a woman who isn't just a whore to throw money (or steak dinners) at for a quick romp or two.

I've never met a woman who was interesting, who did amazing things, or who had her own thoughts and her own goals. They're all so bland and so alike. When I'm down to my last dollar you better believe it means a lot to me and I'm going to make it count. But if i have a million dollars, what's one? Well, I have millions and millions of women to choose from, all alike, why in the hell should one matter to me?

I stopped holding out for that amazingly unique woman a long time ago. Unique people are rare. Individuality is hammered out of humans at an early age, and it seems women don't have the strength to resist.

[vashti]

I've never met a woman who was interesting, who did amazing things, or who had her own thoughts and her own goals.

Seriously? That's just sad. No wonder you've become so bitter.

I know a lot of women like this... they are all river guides. Some have motorcycles. Hippy-ish though. I seem to remember you saying you liked women who were librarian-ish, and of course, they aren't like that.

Maybe you should go to river guide school?

[smackie9]

Are you paying $141 a litre for gas? we are :s I think we pay the highest rate anywhere in Noth America let alone Canada. Quebec is bleeding us dry here in BC.

[asdfg789]

The women I meet always seem to fall into those two categories or someplace in between. They just aren't that interesting. Their company's not worth my money.

When I meet a woman who can hop onto a motorcycle--not the back of mine, but on her own, because what kind of boring person wants to sit on the back of a motorcycle--and who will ride with me to Argentina and back without bitching, without fussing over her hair, without worrying about leaving her social circle behind, I've found a woman who's worth more than ****ing and passing on to the next guy.

When I meet a woman who doesn't just parrot the opinions of the masses but who has her own unique thoughts, I've met a woman who isn't just a whore to throw money (or steak dinners) at for a quick romp or two.

I've never met a woman who was interesting, who did amazing things, or who had her own thoughts and her own goals. They're all so bland and so alike. When I'm down to my last dollar you better believe it means a lot to me and I'm going to make it count. But if i have a million dollars, what's one? Well, I have millions and millions of women to choose from, all alike, why in the hell should one matter to me?

I stopped holding out for that amazingly unique woman a long time ago. Unique people are rare. Individuality is hammered out of humans at an early age, and it seems women don't have the strength to resist.

Either you have been really unlucky with the women that you've met or you are actually gay but dont know it yet !!

[tremolo]

When I meet a woman who can hop onto a motorcycle--not the back of mine, but on her own, because what kind of boring person wants to sit on the back of a motorcycle--and who will ride with me to Argentina and back without bitching, without fussing over her hair, without worrying about leaving her social circle behind, I've found a woman who's worth more than ****ing and passing on to the next guy.

When I meet a woman who doesn't just parrot the opinions of the masses but who has her own unique thoughts, I've met a woman who isn't just a whore to throw money (or steak dinners) at for a quick romp or two.

I've never met a woman who was interesting, who did amazing things, or who had her own thoughts and her own goals. They're all so bland and so alike. When I'm down to my last dollar you better believe it means a lot to me and I'm going to make it count. But if i have a million dollars, what's one? Well, I have millions and millions of women to choose from, all alike, why in the hell should one matter to me?

I stopped holding out for that amazingly unique woman a long time ago. Unique people are rare. Individuality is hammered out of humans at an early age, and it seems women don't have the strength to resist.

There are a lot of amazingly unique women out there - but if you're intent on having one that is also physically an 'exquisite angel', then you're right - there are probably not a lot, much less any that would want to hop on a motorcycle and have you schlep her all over Argentina. Most impossibly beautiful women are never encouraged to develop their minds - so your best bet is to find a woman who came into her beauty after she carved out a personality for herself.

I can't seem to understand whether your expectations are actually reasonable, and you've been meeting all the wrong sorts of women, or whether you have impossible standards that no woman could ever meet. Anyway, this comment that women specifically find it hard to resist our culture's suppression of individuality sounds pretty sexist to me, as do a lot of your comments.

[scott green]

Either you have been really unlucky with the women that you've met or you are actually gay but dont know it yet !!

Or the type of women youre looking for are all gay! Most chicks I know who own their own motorcycles are. Maybe you need to look for a bi-chick!? Ive dated 3 bi chicks in the past, and they sound just like what your looking for. Independent, crazy in bed, a best mate and a lover all rolled into one. Only reason none of them lasted was cause they decided to be fully gay. Lol. Yea, I have problems finding a girl too. As you said, most of them seem either pretty shallow, or completely braindead

[scott green]

Actually most girls I date have usually stalked me for a few months. Dunno why I get that crazy type? But always seem to get stalkers. My current gf is the only chick I've actually asked out myself for some time, and only reason I asked her out was cos she's a dwarf / midget - as someone told me they had really tight pussies - totally true btw, but most chicks I date have asked me out. I guess I like the attention. Hey, it keeps life interesting going out with crazy girls. Lol.

[oldskool83]

my ex g/f owned a motorcycle...she was far from gay, or bi. stright all the way. my other female friend who rides is 100% stright too.

[scott green]

my ex g/f owned a motorcycle...she was far from gay, or bi. stright all the way. my other female friend who rides is 100% stright too.

Hmmm... Here in Scotland the Only chicks I know who OWN them are gay or bi. I know plenty chicks that ride thier bfs bikes, but dont have any of their own. Guess it depends where you live. I can imagine bikes being bigger over in the States with straight girls