If you were in her situation, would you hate me too?

[lonewolf720]

Ok, so me and this girl were talking for about a month and we both liked each other but after a month of talking she said "i think we should be friends....i'm sorry" and "but don't be afraid to talk to me" and "I'm sorry if i made you mad or sad". Her reason was because she felt like she let her morals down by letting me finger her. I also heard from a mutual friend that she said i was too "pushy" for sexual things. When she gave me that talk i tried to keep her by saying "i really like you and i'll do anything to make this workout" and she said "Josh, i know, but it's just awkward now. She tried to IM me on facebook saying "hey " a month after the "lets be friends" but i just replied with "sup" and got off without saying anything because i wasn't over her at the time and she was just trying to put me in the friends zone. I also blocked her on facebook cuz it hurt me to see her happy with a guy she got with like 3 months later.

It's been 7 months since the "lets be friends", haven't talked to her since, and it turns out that she got a job and works with one of my best friends. He asked her if she knew me and he said that she really dis likes me and said i'm a bad person. She also said that i'm obsessed with her and that i wouldn't stop texting her and the only time i started texting her a lot was when i sensed she was getting kind of distant toward me and that went on for like a week before she told me "lets be friends", does that make me obsessed with her?

[searock]

Well speaking from experience, if a guy I turn down (or break up with) breaks all type of contact immediately and can't even have a normal conversation months after the break-up, then I'd think he was pretty obsessed by me, as in "wow he still hasn't gotten over me, it's crazy". Especially if he was being exceedingly close and clingy before the break-up. Even more if I got the feeling he was obsessed by sex! But of course it all depends on the situation.

[lonewolf720]

wow i didn't think of it like that, how can i prove that im not obsessed with her? is it possible she's also just mad because i ignored her and blocked her? and does she think i'm a complete weirdo because thats what she's making me feel like when she said those things

[searock]

Do you want to prove that you are not obsessed with her to your friends, or to her? If it's to your friends it's easy, I mean if they're your friends they know you and you just need to tell them you're not obsessed and they'll know it's true. If it's to her... why do you even care?

[theredbaron]

Being a girl myself, I am the first to admit that we can be weird about these sorts of things. Who knows what she's feeling? Maybe she doesn't even know herself. I know that women can act like that after friend-zoning someone out of pride or even just plain meanness. Oh well, let her say what she wants, just don't let it get to you. If you're over her, let yourself be over her and move on. Find a new girl that's more in-tune with her feelings and won't waver on you like that. That'll really get the girl going!

[lonewolf720]

I just want to prove that i'm not obsessed with her to people in general that we know. I dont know if people think im obsessed with her because for some reason no one ever brought her up to me after she said "lets just be friends"

[searock]

If you're not obsessed by her, just talk to the people who she talked to, tell them something like "I've heard that my ex told you that I'm obsessed by her, but it's not true" and that will suffice, since your behavior will confirm it.

[lonewolf720]

Okay i will do that, i just hope she won't keep bad mouthing me to everyone that brings me up.

[theredbaron]

Wow, don't do that. Seriously, that is the total opposite of what you want to do. In fact, you are kind of obsessing over this. Who cares? So this girl dumped you and you didn't want to talk to her anymore so she started a rumor about you... The more you indulge in insisting to others that you aren't obsessed with her, the less they will believe you. Just leave it alone. That's the only way to handle it.

[bulrush]

Who cares what your ex (the girl) or someone else thinks of you? You two are just different, that's why it didn't work out. No one is wrong here.

So go out and find someone who has similar goals and values as you. And be yourself (without being a jerk). Keep being yourself and soon enough someone will notice that and will be interested in dating you.

[lonewolf720]

yeah i've tried my hardest to forget her ever since it happened and have been trying my best at trying to get over her and not thinking about her because i know its the right thing to do, and im proud of myself because most guys cant handle not talking to a girl that breaks up with them, especially if they really like her like i did. The only thing that bugs me now is that she is extremely attractive and flirty and it seems like she will like any guy that gives her attention, and she flirts with my best friend which kinda bugs me even though i try my hardest to not let it into my head.