so confused. What to do??

[puzzled]

I need a guys perspective on this. My boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago. We haven't talked in about a month and he recently messaged me saying "hope all is well and you had a great thanksgiving" but I never messaged him back. And I recently discovered that he talked to my mom a couple of weeks ago to see how I was doing and told her he was upset about how everything happened. But I didn't think it was right that when I tried talking to him before he didn't want to talk to me but now all of a sudden he wants to know I'm doing okay. His birthday is coming up soon and I wanted to send him a bouquet of balloons with a jar of candy. And I was thinking of buying one of those birthday cards where you can record something and I was going to record the song "Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler from the movie The Wedding Singer. But I'm not sure if it's a good idea. Is that something you would want from your ex of almost 3 years?

[Queentee]

Ermm if hes an ex then why do u need to sing him a song called grow old with u ?u want him back o something. He probably tried it with some other girl and it didnt work out so now hes coming back to you .thats abit over the top for someone u are not in a relationship with .Why does he have to be the one who decides when you talk or when you dont ?

[bulrush]

His emotions are probably less messed up now, so he called to see how you are.

His birthday is coming up soon and I wanted to send him a bouquet of balloons with a jar of candy. And I was thinking of buying one of those birthday cards where you can record something and I was going to record the song "Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler from the movie The Wedding Singer.

These both send a very clear signal that you want to date him. The song is definitely romantic. Do you want to date him again?

When ex's buy each other presents, it can get very confusing, so I don't do it.

[puzzled]

I do want to get back with him, but at the same time i'm still so mad at him for what he put me through. And i'm not even sure if he wants the same. But why go through the trouble of talking to my mom and messaging me if he didnt want anything? i'm just so confused...

[Yet another guy]

But I didn't think it was right that when I tried talking to him before he didn't want to talk to me but now all of a sudden he wants to know I'm doing okay.

Feelings change. He was probably very upset about your breakup and it's understandable that he didn't want to have any contact with you. Now, that has changed. Both of you must be open for communication for it to happen, that's just the way it is. Back then he didn't want to talk to you, now he does, so it depends on you.

What you should do depends on what your intentions are. If you have no interest in getting back together, a simple email explaining you're okay and want no more contact should be sufficient.

[puzzled]

I do have an interest in getting back with him..but what if i send the gift and he really just sent that message to just see how i was doing and has no intention of getting back with me? wouldn't i look like an idiot?

[Queentee]

It looks like you asked a question u already know an answer to

[Yet another guy]

No, you wouldn't look like an idiot. You'd look like you want to get back together. There's nothing stupid about that.