I've been dating this guy for about 4 months. He's originally from California and moved to New York (where I live) temporarily. We've been pretty much inseparable since day one. I have serious feelings for him and he says he cares deeply for me, but he does not consider me his girlfriend. Even though he tells everyone that I'm his girlfriend and treats me like I am. He says we are just friends. I don't understand this. Why tell people I'm your girlfriend when you really don't think I am? I definitely consider him my boyfriend. I care about him and love spending time with him. I wouldn't say I'm in love with him, but I could get there eventually.
What confuses me is that he is very affectionate toward me. We have amazing sex. He tells me all the time how much he cares about me. Tells me I'm one of the most incredible women he's ever been with. Tells me I'm so loving and supportive, he loves spending time with me and he's so thankful he met me blah, blah, blah. So what's the problem? Why does he consider me just a friend? When asked if he would care if I dated someone else, he says he would be upset, but knows he can't give me all that I need. That we aren't soul mates.
I just hate the fact he tells everyone and their brother that we are an item, but won't say it or admit it to me. What is that about? I know titles like boyfriend/girlfriend really don't matter, but it frustrating to get all these loving emotions from him and have him disregard them and say we are nothing. I'm not sure what to do. Is he some sort of commitment phobe? I'm guessing it's because he doesn't plan on living in NY forever and he is a legit commitment phobe. He's also bi-polar. Don't know if that has anything to do with it, but maybe it does. I'm at a loss.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.