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Thread: Friend Zone - Is she interested?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    Friend Zone - Is she interested?

    Ah, the dreaded friend zone everyone had heard about. Unfortunately I now find myself in a classic tough situation.

    First, some background info. I've known this girl since high school. We were never incredibly close, but we did attend occasional friend meetups - movies, dinners, etc generally as a large group. After HS I moved overseas for 3 years, having only recently returned to the US about 2 months ago.

    During my time overseas, she happened to visit over the summer, and we spent a lot of time together. She had never been there, so I showed her around, we had lots of movie/dinner "meets," sat around in coffee shops, etc. Nothing serious, although we had a great time, and are both comfortable around each other.

    I thought of her often, and was delighted when she came to meet me for coffee when I returned, to catch up. In addition I then got a part time job in the same building as her (I attend college full time, we work at a tutoring school). Since then we see each other often, but are generally busy weekdays with our busy schedules. Several of my other HS friends also work at this same school, so we basically started up our little "friend group" again.

    Since then we have done many friend-meet up activities. About 4 weeks ago, just the two of us met up. She was going shopping, and I offered to accompany her. We had dinner after, and sat around chatting for hours. Since then I've basically been asking her out weekends for friendly activities. The following week we saw a movie then had dinner. Last week we did the same, and I was contemplating telling her how I felt, but she brought her best friend along that night! I know her friend as well, who was also acquainted from HS, but it negated that opportunity.

    Anyway, the major problem is I'm not sure if I'm getting any signs, other than her willingness to meet up/spend time with me. I'm not sure if these are dates or friend-meets, and I figured I would have to tell her how I feel to get any answers. However, as always with the friendzone, I would hate to make things awkward.

    Finally, I forgot to mention, she has a strong feminist personality. She refuses to let me pay for meals/movies, and is strongly against sexism (hence why I dont want to make any physical moves unless I'm 100% sure, and im not able to pick up any signs, as she is somewhat shy.) I respect that, but it makes things tricky.

    Appreciate any suggestions/advice. Is my best option to tell her my feelings for her? I've been taking it slow, going for signs or a good opportunity, but neither have presented itself yet... I think of her constantly, and its tough not knowing what to do about it.

    Thanks
    -Josh
    Last edited by KooperT; 14-10-11 at 10:46 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    West Michigan
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    Lots of girls will hang out with you if they get a free dinner out of it. It doesn't mean she has feelings for you.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    3,849
    Bulrush, he explicitly said that she does not get free dinner out of it.

    KooperT, don't worry about how she feels. Just make a move on her, and if she refuses the kiss, then you have your answer. If she doesn't see you as more than a friend, drop her and move on.

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