Friend or more?

[Allen T K]

Hi ... I think I may already know the answer however maybe somewhat jaded and appreciate any opinions ....

About me ... mid forties .. single dad, separated 2 years after 17 years marriage. Two teenage children .. one lives with me and the other with his mom. Sill ongoing issues within family court. Self employed.

This winter I re connected with my first girlfriend. We dated when we were 13 to 16. We had initially planned on getting together for drinks, however her grandmother became sick and hospitalized which of course took priority and the "date" never happened. Rather I went as a friend to visit her while she was caring for her Gran and over the next few weeks was there regularly offering support .. strickly on a friend level ... and was there with her beside her Gran when she passed away.

Over the next few months we went out a few times and talked often. We discovered that there was still some connection. we have been intimate, and spent a lot of time together .... however the chemistry is missing. When we talk aboutthis her response is I really like you, id ont want to lose out on a good thing .... but i wont date you untill you have sorted your "life" which i get... that said, its somewhat complicated and these things take time.

At this point though we talk almost daily .. we do things often ... however there is no connection beyond that. i feel that maybe at this point we may simply need to part as friends ... I am torn ... is it wrong that I am thinking I desere to have someone who loves me for who I am, who I can and will be again? not the subject of someone who seems dissappointed in where I am .... not waiting around and telling me that if I play my cards right I can have a true relationship?

From the outside in I can understand ... however perhaps just the timing is off?

Frustrated

[MerryH]

If there's no connection or chemistry then why are you so bothered that she doesn't want to date you right now? I mean, you're still married. It's completely understandable that she doesn't want to get serious with you until your divorce is final. That's what she means by getting your "life" sorted, right? Or is there more?

[dutng]

i think you to folow the call of your heart.
good luke for you.