Sad

[bunnypants]

I was engaged over a year and a half to someone o/s, I couldn't move there with him and during the engagement we broke it off, but spent another year still talking and in love. Neither of us as far as I know even had sex with anyone else, I am so loyal to who I love, I did not even think about another man intimately the whole relationship, and even at the start of the friendship, have always loved him.

I am sad we broke up, for reasons I do not want to discuss very personal. I have been thinking about taking a flight over gain now, will cost me probably 2000 plus dollars if I do, but now something weird has gone on and I am devastated that I was secretly planning on re trying with us.

In the last two weeks exactly today he has been off with me, strange, will not tell me I love you xo anymore, no Hi sweeties *kiss* when talking, even all that time after break up he was still sweet with me. I tried to call him late 10 days ago maybe, 12:15 am his time and normally he picks up even if in bed after 2 rings before the machine can catch it. This time, no. Went to machine, I felt okay that isn't right, I knew right away I tried again, phone rests right on his night-table by his bed, if in bed least 2nd call would wake him, and no. I was upset and waited to see what he would say about it and he oddly fluffed it off, made me feel sicker, I know he was lying. I think he was out. he has been hanging out with these new work people...2 are chicks, and one male. Supposedly both chicks have bf's ( so he he says, but how do I know?)One even drove him and another to a coworkers outing and massage, hm again. 3 weeks ago.

Not the point but, he got upset at me because I called him pathetic for not addressing my concerns, yes we are broken up but still in love and hoping to reconcile. I think he had sex with someone that night I called, he joked, he couldn't get the phone later on because he was fingering two strippers at the time and his hands were full, haha! Rude.

Now he tells me never to call him late again, when right before this I was told call any time day and night.
Last week he was out again with big group of coworkers a few of same ones and was out til 1:30am and when I called before my work that day he would not pick up his cell phone, told me after whole time it was in his pants pocket, so he heard calls, saw it was me and ignored, first time in yrs he ignored a cell call off me.

I am not paranoid he is clearing boning a coworker or some girl within last week.

Why can't he just be honest with me, I want truth it is making me die inside I was saving all this money privately to go up for his bday next month and I feel so sad, all I do is cry last 2 weeks etc. Lost 10 lbs.

How can I get him to be honest with me so I can go away. I won't stay if this is going on and he lied.

I'm sorry, that is so much to read through. :-(

Thanks for reading and please help me with the words to tell him to make him come clean finally.

[workingman78]

Dear, I am about to tell you some very hard words. You guys are broken up, and he apparently is happy to be moving on without you. There is not much else you can do. I think you need to ask yourself that if he is acting this way, do you really think he is even thinking about reconciliation? It doesn't sound like it to me. It is time to switch gears and start looking past it because the longer you linger the harder it well be. If there is going to be any reconciliation it must happen on his part now. Good luck

[steviej]

Long distance rarely works. Leave it be and move on. Concentrate your energy on someone you actually get to see!

[Wakeup]

Leave him alone and go zero contact. He doesn't feel for you what you want him to and continuing to talk with him keeps you addicted to him. It's over, accept that so you can heal and move on to be with someone who actually wants to be with you. Take his blatant disrespect at face value and don't let him crush you over and over again. Respect yourself and don't hang around for any more of what he gives you, tell him "thanks for the memories, have a good life. I'll not be contacting you again."

[Miss_winter]

I agree with all the advice above. He clearly have moved on. I know it's really painful to accept, but you have to accept it. The more you linger, the harder for you to move on. So from now on, do yourself a favor, stop contacting him. Time heals all the pain. It may look scary at first, but you can do it.

Stay strong!

[Remikzu]

well, i want to know what exactly you want to hear from us? do you want us to help you regarding your moving on process or you want us to tell you what to do...

hmm... if you want him to be honest to you, you have to be honest as well... you have to tell everything, your plans your everything your worries, your expectation.... i mean you know what you want him to hear from you... if you did your part telling all those things... he'll probably tell the truth regarding the real reason why he did this things... like suffocation etc etc etc... i cant judge him by this post... but i react regarding your story...

if he tell you that he's fingering two of the strippers... it might be the way he wanted just to get rid of you... probably he wants to get rid of you but he dnt want to tell you the reason...
its easy to be sweet and something important to girls that important to us boys... but, its the communication between you two are not practiced well...