Ladies, why do things go good, then end abruptly?

[IveBeenThinking]

It seems like everytime I start talking to a woman or start dating her, things progress well, we talk a lot, go out, then nothing. No texts. No calls. Nothing.

Last relationship I had was about a year long. We literally got into our first fight and I never saw her again.


What could it be? I am completely honest and up front with everyone. I rarely just "go with the flow" I always lay my intentions and feelings out on the floor. Could that be the problem?

I'm in my early 30's, own my own home, never been married, no kids, very little debt, and have a ton of friends.


I really, truly don;t get it. Every relationship i'm in falls apart, and quick. They never last more than a year. Ever. Usually just a few months. I don;t even bother introducing them to my family anymore because it never lasts...



Advice, ladies????

[IndiReloaded]

Without knowing more its impossible to say.

You are in your 30s. How many relationships have you had that were more serious than dating? What kinds of reasons did your exes give for ending things? Are there any common elements you've noticed, either with them or you?

[IveBeenThinking]

Things in common with the break-ups?

With the ones who've broke up with me, it seems at first they are way more into me, then when I give in and let my guard down, then I'm the one who cares more and we break up.

I think maybe they see me as a potential husband and get scared? I really don't know???

[lahnnabell]

How old are the women you date?

[pisces25]

Sounds like you may be going for girls who like the thrill of the chase. Once you indicate interest they run away. Or when you do become interested you act too full on and scare them.

[IveBeenThinking]

Mid to late 20's

[IndiReloaded]

Things in common with the break-ups?

With the ones who've broke up with me, it seems at first they are way more into me, then when I give in and let my guard down, then I'm the one who cares more and we break up.

I think maybe they see me as a potential husband and get scared? I really don't know???

Didn't you ever think to ask any of them why? Maybe you are coming on too strong, as someone else said. Even at a year, your longest relationship, that might be too early for some to be thinking of marriage. Especially if you've never even lived together.

[MerryH]

I am completely honest and up front with everyone. I rarely just "go with the flow" I always lay my intentions and feelings out on the floor. Could that be the problem?

That could be the problem. Maybe you're too honest and up front. Maybe always laying your feelings "out on the floor" gets old really quick. Are you tactful about how you do this? I mean, here's what complete honesty can look like: "Yo girl you look chunky in that dress. You should permanently lend it to one of your skinnier girlfriends." See? Too much honestly can be a very bad thing, especially if you don't deliver it artfully.

I rarely just "go with the flow"

That makes you sound stubborn and like you enjoy being confrontational. Rarely going with the flow is too seldom, in my opinion. You should go with the flow in most cases. It's called picking your battles, something you should try to be smart about.

Also, you got into your first fight with your girlfriend of about a year and never saw her again? Did you at least speak to her? Or try to? What happened there?

[reeba]

I rarely date someone for more than a couple of months. In a couple of months you should be able to see if you are compatable or not. At the 6 month mark, people start letting their guard down, and you start truly n seeing the real them. That time is another time for decisions. Usually there has been no fights. I just realize they are quite it. Close, but not quite it.

I always say, why waste your time on Mr Wrong, because unless you want to cheat you can't meet Mr Right while hopelessly dating Mr Wrong. In addition, love is blind. You stay too long with Mr Wrong and you could end up emotionally attached to a guy who isn't right for you. People these days sleep together way too early, then stay in these 'not quite right' situations. Whatever happenned to old fashioned, lets stay platonic and be able to date other people?

My suggestion to you is ....... either be a little 'weird' and email your old gf's. Tell them why you are emailing, and ask them for an honest response on why thy broke up. Chances are enough time has passed that they might be brutally honest, and maybe you can find a common reason that you need to work on. But there is also a good chance that they will ignore the email and tell all their friends what a creepy guy you are.

The other suggestions is....... let science do the work for you. If you live a bigger city, maybe it is time to do a dating site that does a huge analysis on your traits, and picks out compatable girls for you. Because it sounds like you are doing a lousy job on your own. Lots of guys are clueless when picking out what is 'good for them'. They just see a hot girl.

[gracie8635]

If it only lasts a year its not a relationship.