Strange colour blue

[Chat_noir]

I have been single for over a year, my previous relationship lasted 3 years and we were very much in love, very passionate and at the same time very tender and cuddly. We couldn’t keep off each other, always hugging, kissing, holding hands, sleeping together, cuddled up. Although it didn’t work out for several reasons, I still think that this is how couples should be. Now I’m in a new relationship, it’s still in the very beginning so I don’t know what to assume, and I am not the type that compares BUT this new situation just does not feel right. We study the same thing, so we can have endless conversations about work or anything else, but he’d barely touch me, we live pretty close and we usually work together but each one is in his corner for hours, we have coffee breaks, we cook for each other, but it looks more like friends rather than lovers. When there is work to be done, although he wants me around, he doesn’t think of anything else but work. He has trouble sleeping with me in a single bed and in a bigger one he just crawls to his corner and face the wall. He avoids morning kissing and generally he barely shows real passion. We haven’t seen each other for a week, he was waiting at my doorstep when I came back but all we did –apart from a welcome kiss he gave me- was basically sitting and talking. He reacts pretty well when I approach him but he never takes initiative. I know he appreciates me as a person, he respects me, he admires me and all that, he also says he likes me as a girl… but that’s just not enough for me. He’s also been single for long time, and it’s the first time he actually has his own space to share with any girlfriend –so he’s never been very used to sleeping with somebody else- .Though the worse is that he admitted that his first priority is work –don’t get me wrong, this is respectful BUT- … It works fine for me for the moment because I am very concentrated in my work too, as well as I need a slowly-developing relationship to get me back in the game, but on the other hand I think that in the long run, this behavior will just turn me completely off, most probably seeking for something else to fill me up romantically. I like him a lot and I want this to work out. I don’t know if talking will help in this occasion, you can’t make a person desire you just because you say so. Now is that supposed to be normal?

[bulrush]

Not everyone demonstrates affection or passion that well. This guy is just different. Do you want someone who is more assertive? A "guy in charge" who will pin you against the counter and give you a deep kiss?

[HeartIsAching]

^yep^

He's not a physically demonstrative as you're used to. Some just aren't. There's not a lot you can do about that - it's not fair to him to make him uncomfortable by demanding he change to suit you. If he doesn't complain when you touch him, that's about all you can do about it.

[Chat_noir]

Well,a deep kiss would be nice But...what you're saying is that that's how it is and i should accept it?I mean...you mentioned "if he doesn't complain when i touch him"...what kind of relationship would it be if he complained?I thought that this is the difference between a relationship and friendship.I don't want him for a friend,i have friends.If you were in my shoes,would you just accept it?Remember that we need feedback from our partner,would it be more fair to ask that missing thing from others instead -if not now,later-?We like when they flirt us,we like when they compliment us,we like to feel desired,that's what keeps the game going.If you don't get that satisfaction from your partner,then what's the point?