I met this guy (Doctor, 32) we had a lot in common and straight off the bat he told me
: he was separated for about 2 years, 2 young kids and starting divorce proceedings and thats why he had no intention to pursue me because I was young, single, no baggage (i'm 27, pharmacist) and he was sure he'd end up settling with another divorcee with kids...I was ok with that because I wasn't looking for a relationship..
Anyway fast forward a few months, and we're dating... and we were even closer, talked about marriage in general (in our culture marriage is brought up pretty quick) he told me he was forced at the age of 22 to marry his parents choice, and for 10 years genuinely made an effort but because of a culture clash and other things his wife had spent 10 years mentally manipulating him and draining him financially...but he loves his kids and had stuck it out for them.
After a while he started telling me loads of positive things like how he was falling for me, how he felt so lucky to have me, how he couldnt wait for me to meet his kids, planning our future. He said Me and his 2 kids were the people he cared for most and he wanted us to be a family soon. We discussed at length the role of a step parent. He told me that I was his dream come true..etc
he was really affectionate, really great guy
I picked up on the fact that he had insecurities..he would intermittently say that he believed that I would realise that I'M making a mistake to take on him and his baggage being younger and free and there was still time if I wanted to walk away I could...and I would continue to reassure him that I wouldn't...
After all this..he got even closer to me and opened up more about how much he felt for me, how I made him happy and everything..so I opened up too...I fell in love with him
then one day he rang me in the morning everythings fine, we were planning to meet on the weekend and he was excited.....
Then nothing for the next two days....then a text saying there was major stuff kicking off with family and he would fill me in as he usually did.....and then this
shell shocked or what..I rang him he didnt answer..so i text him saying we needed to talk and that I knew his baggage from day 1 and I was ok with it...and that it wasn't right for him to make this decision for me without even speaking to me..."I just cant put you through the crap im going through. I hope you understand one day, ive created my future and have to live with it, you can start with a clean slate, you're an amazing person and deserve better"
he repliedand that was it.. I continued to text him poured out my heart that at the very least he should speak to me, because only a few days back he told me he had fallen for me and now this..."im so sorry I really am, i regret that my emotions took over...and it's still not too late for u"
he would call me at some point...
so I waited and waited for a week or so...my head was all over the place...nothing...
so I text him asking him when he would, because I couldn't handle thisBut I can't...I know he meant everything he said to me and it wasn't an act..and I know he does care for me but he's afraid of facing me or speaking to me hence why it was over text.. non confrontational..but he's resigned himself to accepting this miserable situation he's in..."Please just stop..I can't handle this...just move on"
he said to me once that if I walked away it'd be easier for him because then he'd think that he had no choice. but he couldn't let me go cos he knows he'd regret it for years to come..
it's frustrating and i'm totally heartbroken, it's one thing when someone tells u their feelings have changed or something..another when you know that he cares...but he's trying to be this lone warrior....and I hate that he's made MY decision to be with him...without even talking to me
it's been about a month...I cant shake myself of this hope in my heart that he'll come back...