She doesn't want me to "look around"

[dario4]

I'm 6 months into a serious relationship. My girlfriend however often complains that she hates the way I "look around" at other people. I often try in vain to reassure her that i'm not looking at people to consider them in any way, sexually, emotionally or otherwise. I am simply acknowledging the people around and just checking on body language and sorts. It's something I do instinctively. It's like walking down the street and glancing at the person that passes you just to be sure they're not a threat of some kind. I think all men do it, heck at least I do it.

Anyway, her ex apparently didn't do this and perhaps she's making comparisons she shouldn't. She is extremely jealous in general and she admits this.

Does anyone have any insight into whether this is actually something that normal people do? Ie, look around to "check" and NOT to check girls asses etc, because that is NOT what i do and I get angry when she accuses me of doing that. Also, does anyone have any advice on how to handle this particular matter? She doesn't seem to be able to shift this problem of hers, even after long and frequent discussions.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Either break up with her, or just keep looking around and just don't acknowledge her jealous fits. When she yells, start laughing. Don't let her pull you into an argument. Just tell her, "Whatever you say.", then snicker and continue walking.

[vashti]

Ask her if she'd like you to walk through life with a blindfold on.

[devonbrown]

Unless she expects you to wear blinders like race horses do, it is impossible to NOT look at other people once in a while. There is a difference between looking at someone and checking them out though and she doesn't seem to understand that. And if her ex-boyfriend never looked at other people when they were together, they must have stayed in all the time.

She is extremely jealous in general and she admits this.

This is the big problem. She is jealous and irrational. Jealousy is a harmful emotion that does no one any good. If she is not willing to adjust her behavior, you have to decide if it is worth it for you. I would suggest it is probably not.

Good luck.

[bulrush]

Sounds like you make an effort to reassure her, right? If so, then it's up to her to get a backbone and deal with her insecurities. Straight up, her insecurities are going to eventually destroy your relationship if she doesn't deal with them. And she shouldn't ignore them either, she needs to deal with them and trust you.

You can help her with her trust issues but they are still HERS TO DEAL WITH.

I don't care how hot she looks, her bullsh!t will soon outgrow the hots you have for her.

[toshiba]

My GF says the same thing. Especially since she knows I like skinny girls, whenever one is near us when out she makes a comment to me like "I bet you like that", or gets pissed and accuses me of STARING at the girl, when it was a glance like you would do to see who just walked in the room after hearing a door shut.

...just keep looking around and just don't acknowledge her jealous fits. When she yells, start laughing. Don't let her pull you into an argument. Just tell her, "Whatever you say.", then snicker and continue walking.

I like that attitude... set the standard early and don't take any chit.

[Cerby]

Shit like this makes me glad that my gf is totally cool with looking at other people, and sometimes even points out other female asses to me incase I might have missed them.

[HeartIsAching]

She's seriously insecure, and that's her problem not yours.

And you're totally right - making comparisons with her ex is totally unfair.

[surfhb]

I don't understand why you or others are with people like this? She will not change so there's part of your answer

[Junket]

The cook at the pizza place had such a fine ass. I wanted to put my penis in it so bad.

[sadie_genie]

Train yourself to look only at men from now on.

[gingerina]

Just make a joke about it so she could see how silly she is. If you start talking about it and analyzing it you create a problem when there is not really a broblem. Next time when she does that just laugh and kiss her and ignore her comments.

[toshiba]

Anyway, her ex apparently didn't do this and perhaps she's making comparisons she shouldn't...

Next time she makes a comparison say: "well, my ex let me [insert nasty-kinky sex act here] on a daily basis"

[toshiba]

HA, current GF told me the same thing. She said she is used to being with guys that are really into her and would never look at anyone else.

Granted, very few people have a more attractive body (what I am looking at) than her (at least to me, actually a first for me in a SO), sometimes a tight outfit grabs the eye.

Also, I am used to being out alone, or with guy friends, was never with a SO more than 2-3 days a week, so I am not very trained NOT to look, haha.

I am seriously working on this now, and she awknowledges that.

[surfhb]

Thanks for bringing up an ancient thread