I've been realy realy down for a while now, and the only thing I feel that can relase my pain is to be with a womwn. Not any woman though; THE woman. The woman who I love(vice versa), who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I have wanted this for around a year now, but have never found anyone. I've been to scared to try. I realy, realy want this.
Now I finaly found a woman who I am falling deeply in love with(after so long). I can't get her off my mind, and old familiar feelings are coming back from then plus even more, so I know it's love. She is absolutely perfect for me. She's EVERYTHING I want in a woman.
The problem is, now im falling in love, the situation is the MOST awkward possible.
I'm now currently on this course through the dole, and she's one of my teachers. I've knew her for 2 weeks now. The age difference isn't a problem, im 20 and she's 23, and I know she is single, but it's the whole "Mixing pleasure with buissiness" game that's scaring me.
I keep asking my self, what if I ask her how she feels about me and she doesn't feel anything? It would be awkward for the both of us there on, as the course lasts another 5 1/2 months. What if I tell her how I feel and she doesn't feel for me? The same. What If we do get together, but finnish on uneven terms? The same. What if she gets a boy friend and I miss my chance? What do I do?
I REALY want to be with this woman, and I don't wan't to miss my chance(**If I have one**). But I don't know what to do, how to act, how to make her feel atracted to me. I mean, I've caught her looking and looking away when our eyes meet, and she laughs at my jokes. Does this mean anything?
But other times she kind of ignores me/blanks me, which makes me think she doesn't like me. And it hurts me(another sign it's love). But when I sat down and thaught about it, I came to a conclusion that she might be playing games. Trying to keep me interested, by keeping me guessing whether she likes me or not. Could this be so?
The past while now my image hasn't been exactly desirable IMO(in my opinion). Sure I've been washed and brushed my teeth, but my hairs been a little longer than short and tiny bit greasy at times(not too much) and my skins been dry. So I've had my hair cut an bought moisturiser because my skins a bit dry.
I've kind of been trying to let her know I like her, but I don't know If I've been getting the mesage across because I dont want to make it too obvious, because I'm scared.
I'm planning on trying to make a big image impresion on monday, but trying not to give the signals I(think) I've been sending, to try and give her the chase of whether It's me who likes her or not. Is this a good Idea?
I just don't know what to do. What should I do?
P.S I'ld realy apreciate it if some female members would coment on this, it would help a lot. Obvoiusly the males opinions are equaly welcome, if not more.
Thanks
WS.