I have a good personality, nice, sincere, considerate, funny, and sorta acts like a kid (i just wanna be cheerful and happy), but it seems like i can't get a boyfriend. The bad side of me is that I can be shy, timid, and don't talk a lot. I always seen my friends getting a boyfriend and all, but for me it's hard. I have many guy friends. Could this be the problem? They are treating me like a guy? One of the guy told me that it's ok, she's just like one of us.... Ok I admit, I do act like a guy, but I can be girly at the same time. I like to play video games, talk about cars, and play sports. Many guys have told me that this is a "plus" and are surprised that a girl likes to do those guy stuff. I always wanted to be a guy because it's so fun.
Guys are surprised I am into guy stuff because I am cute and I look pretty girly to them because of my face. I have a kiddyish look. I look like I can pass for a teeny bopper because I look young. I have big eyes and smile alot, but I guess when I tell them I am into guy stuff. They treat me like a guy. Now how am I suppose to act girly? I hate wearing dress and skirts and act all giggly... I been called aggressive too but that is just the playful me which I guess I need to stop. I been only called "cute", but not really pretty. Those who called me probably just says it all the time to all girls. When I go clubbing, I get hit on a lot, but I am not pretty. I am just cute. So is it because i have a cute face, they want to approach me because a hot girl most likely won't dance with them since cute face are easier to approach and are a lot nicer....
I have a friend who acts more like a guy then I do, but I guess she has a little more exotic look then I do. She has a good personality, says whatever is on her mind, and just very open friendly, and outgoing. I on the other hand is shy, timid, and don't talk a lot. Two guys are trying to pursue and its very annoying. I introduced my guy friends to her too....
I guess I been trying too hard and thinking too hard to get a guy's attention, that I forget to be me. I went on couple dates and I've been trying to be myself and talk, laugh, smile, and just be me. It's not easy for me to get out of my comfort zone sometimes, but most of time I try to. I don't have very high self esteem.
Maybe because ever since I was little my mom always been critical and emotionally abusive like saying that I am not pretty as so and so, I am too fat, I am not smart as others, I can't do this or that. She's too controlling and telling me what to do that I can't be independent and have the confidence to do things on my own.
I don't feel like I am independent because of her and I am still immature which is probably why guys want to be my boyfriend because i can't take care of myself.
My friends can find boyfriends so easily, but for me its hard. My parents are always on my case asking me who i am going out with, is that my boyfriend? who is that guy? when are you coming home? why havent you called home. I tell my friends about this and I feel like they think I am not independent. When my guy friend asked me to go over to his place at like 9pm, I told him I can't because of my mom always b!tching and asking me questions and threatening me not to go. I am 25 and just graduated from college and I am looking for a job, so hopefully one day I can move out and get away from her abusiveness.