Girlfriend has intimate pictures of her ex on her phone

[heavensabove1]

To cut a long story short;

Both me and my girlfriend were in 10+ year relationships. She ended hers first, hooked up with a guy for a couple of months, but for one reason or another that didn't work out. At that point I was single, and a few weeks later we got together. At first it was all a bit of fun, and I knew she had those pictures a week or so into our "fun relationship", I found it a bit awkward then, but now it's got quite serious, I find it even more awkward. It's not like I come across them regularly or anything, but we both know they are there. The thing is, she loves taking pictures, for memories etc. Whether the memories are bad or good, she likes having a "life trail" as she calls it. Her phone has over 3000 pictures.

If it was just pictures of him, maybe even topless pictures, I might understand. But there's pictures of them having oral, full body naked shots. I don't know if there's more, as I only know of these from when we accidentally flicked through them when we first got together.

Given I was in a 10 year relationship, my one and only relationship, I think I'm a little out of sync with what is "normal" and what is "acceptable". We've only been together a couple of months, less than what she had been with the ex for.

How would you feel?

[searock]

Ugh, as a female, I couldn't stand even just the thought of my bf having such pictures on his cell phone! I'd hate it even if they were regular pictures of his ex, but sex pictures..?? Nooo way I'd let him keep them on his cell phone. If he really wants to keep them, for when he's old or something so he can remember everything (I can understand that somehow) he could store them in some file on his computer, one that he never opens and that I could never stumble across. But on his cell phone, that he uses to communicate with me, that he always carries around with him, ugh no way.

[steviej]

She's a moron. Tell her if she wants them in a 'life trail' or whatever to upload them to her computer, stick them in a file then delete them from the phone. Let her know how uncomfortable you find it having those pics around.
I'd personally end up in an argument if i found my gf had kept pics like that!

[smackie9]

For most anyone pictures like that need not to be even taken let alone stashed on a phone. Your gf isn't a pervert but she has an issue of "letting go". She is horribly emotionally attached to these pictures like a hoarder hangs onto every little piece of trash dating back to their childhood. This isn't a moral issue but a psychological issue and this may extend into other areas of her life. I bet if you ask her to remove those pics, she will get mighty defensive and go into a panic mode. You must communicate to her about this. Don't get on her about the content but as her why she has such a need, and why can't she live without them. If you get nowhere with this I suggest you find someone else to date.

[smackie9]

Through my experience with clients who had house fires, there have been a lot of women that had risked their lives, going back into the burning house to save their wedding pictures and family photo albums. That is how emotionally attached some women are to their "memories". Your gf probably thinks her life would be deleted if there wasn't a photo for eveything she has done. That's pretty obsessive.

[Benni]

Hmmm..... she's taking pictures while having sex? That seems strange to me. I understand videotaping a session -- it isn't as intrusive and both people can still get lost in the moment and enjoy themselves.

I agree with the other posters-- If she feels she MUST have those pics, she can upload those to her computer to save, then delete them from her phone.

[devonbrown]

How do you know that she hasn't deleted them already if you haven't seen them since the early "fun" part of your relationship?

Ask her casually if she still has them on her phone. If she does, tell her that you are uncomfortable with it. If she wants to save them for way in the future, ask her to save it to CD-Rom or a thumb drive or something. Just let her know that you think it is crossing a line to have those type of pictures on her phone when she is in a relationship with you.

If she doesn't get rid of them/store them away somewhere, then you know where you stand with her and you can make the decision on if you want to stick around.

Good luck.

[sweetgirl1989]

I find that more that slightly inappropriate. I can understand the "life trail" Or whatever. But they should be pictures of them at the beach or a museum or whatever. She should not be keeping pictures of her and other guys in her phone. Ex or not. That is disrespectful to you. And that being said you shouldn't let her disrespect you. You should tell her how you feel about her having sexually explicit pictures.

[bulrush]

I agree with Smackie. She may be overly attached to her pictures. But she should move them off the phone to her computer or a flash drive at least.

[Kaius]

isnt she worried these pics might end up on the internet???? That's the only reason my fiancee wouldn't let me take naked pics with her face in the picture. She sends me topless pics all the time, just without her face. Your woman should be more concerned.

[MaidenMinx]

Uh everyone suggesting she move them, you are all assuming she has a computer. Not everyone does. I know plenty of people who don't have their own computer and with smart phones and tablets giving such good internet access alot if people feel they don't need a computer.