28 and worried

[redditkeet]

how old are you, aspie guy?

thanks everyone for your wise words and replies

[aspie guy]

[QUOTE=redditkeet;776613]how old are you, aspie guy?[QUOTE]

I'm 23.

[rafterman]

Its very easy to be married at 23 and divorced at 33. There's alot at stake too, for you, because she gets half of everything. I'm not married because I like my freedom to much.

Ever heard of this... "When fools rush in"

[redditkeet]

23 is still young aspie guy, I know plenty of people that age who are single and haven't had a relationship yet or are out of a relationship

[itsme2]

Point of the story, guys scar really easily when it comes to relationships. The less emotionally aware a guy is, the greater chance he won't get over his first love and that experience will tarnish him forever and he'll take it out on the women around him. (gross generalisation, I know)

OMG, that sentence explains my last boyfriend to a tee. My ex wanted a long term relationship after a few different non commited flings (one fling even lasted 2 years). We got set up and it was great, but unfortunately the more serious we got, the more scared he got. He never dealt with his wife's death properly (He was married and his wife died young from an ailment). I got burned and now he's back to flings from what I heard- and shortly after he broke up with me. I also heard he started comparing me to her after we broke up and i wasn't enough like her, even though he really liked me.

As for the original post,

I've known a few people who met in their late 20s, early 30s who are happiily married (They were either divorced or never found the right person)

At the same time, I know how you feel. I'm single (Divorced, married too young) and only had one relationship since then. I'm scared of the dating world because, if they're single when they're older, you wonder why. I can't afford to date a male slut, creep, or psycho, lol.

[redditkeet]

^me neither!

how old are you btw?

[regdenied]

I am 28 next year and no sign of getting married. I'm sure I could have married once or twice if I wanted to but I didn't want to marry a cunt. I seen a lot of guys getting marred and to girls I just know are bad news, 2 years later separation, 1 kid or so, nice huh? Think you want that? I guess I will know 100% when I meet the women good enough to marry, until then I don't care if I ever get married because nobody is going to be knocking on my door presenting me with an award or a cash prize for getting married. It would mean life is about to become harder because I really have to think about someone else as well as me, and that might be okay given the right person but until then who the hell cares? Life is not a competition.

[SunRiver]

The entire key in this matter is to simply not care what anyone else does. You have to work on your own sense of who you are and your own self worth. Your value is not determined by if you are married or not, or at what age you got married. Who cares if most of the people you associate with are married or not? So what? Why does it matter? Who cares if they got married at age 18 or 82, or even if they ever got married at all? Why should that affect you in any way whatsoever? Enjoy your life, and stop worrying about what other people do. That goes for anything, not just marriage. If you keep worrying that there is something wrong with you because you aren't married by a certain age, you are more likely to marry someone who turns out to be a jerk simply because you "had" to be able to tell people that you are married. There are no rules here. Don't fall into that mental trap believing that there are.

[SunRiver]

And another thing. Just because people are single at certain ages does not necessarily mean there is "something wrong with them". Some people simply choose to be single. Some have very high standards. Some don't like the pressures involved with being married. Some simply haven't met anyone that they feel strongly about enough to marry. Some have chosen to concentrate their efforts on careers and businesses first. Some don't feel the need to have a marriage certificate in order to keep a committed relationship together. Some simply feel happier on their own. Some people are naturally more independent. There is nothing wrong with any of this. There could be a hundred different reasons. But remember this: you don't owe anyone an excuse for not being married by a particular age. Everyone's situation is different. I know plenty of people who married later in life or haven't married at all. They are happy with their lives. Keep in mind that over half of marriages these days fail. Makes you wonder why so many people seem to be in a rush to go to the altar.