I split from my ex 8 months ago after 2 years. The split was instigated by her and agreed by me as I felt she was irrational and constantly hassling me, she put her friends, family and business before me and as if that was 't bad enough would misinterpret my actions and say i wasnt committed. A week later she then wanted to get back but wouldnt compromise or acknowledge the above so I said no.I felt that she was constantly dictating and moving the goalposts in our relationship. After a month i missed her and wanted to talk but she told me no as she didn't love me anymore.
For many months we had no contact but I started having nightmares because I still loved her and wished she could understand and resolve our relatively minor arguments. Then out of the blue I discover I am working with a close friend of hers and decided to meet with her to have some kind of closure (for various reasons) - only to find she has a new boyfriend, new business, new life! I tried to do the right thing and wish her well but ive been devastated. The problem is every part of my life, my hobbies, my job, my housemates, my social circle are all still connected to her through mutual friends. I compare all my dates to her and become depressed. I don't know how to detach my emotions and move on, I want to be friends but I'm pained by the whimperish way we split up. I know we weren't right because of how she acted but she also told me she wanted to marry me and I thought she would. I still love her and can't get this horrid feeling out of my stomach. I also feel like I need to move, get a new job etc just to clean the break. I'm struggling to eat or sleep, no matter how rationally I argue its for the best my heart breaks when I remember she's gone forever! And my life no longer has direction. Tell me how this process works! She has hinted at friendship which Id like but how can we possibly when i feel such resentment and yet such affection. I still think of her as the one!