Date With A Military Man

[samanthamallory]

Ok, so before I tell you my take on things, I should probably tell you that I grew up in a VERY small town. One of those "everybody knows everybody, everybody calls you friend" kind of places. So, here's what happened: recently on Facebook an old friend of mine, Billy, contacted me. We grew up together, rode the same bus route together until we got our licenses, and went to the same school, ok? I know this dude! So, one of those "repost" games were going around my friends on facebook, one of those "describe me in one word" and then you return the favor to whoever leaves you a word. Billy said "Amazing" to describe me. Ok, cool. I told him he was sweet. Here's the deal: Billy is in Afghanistan right now, but due to come back to the states in a couple of days (though his base is hundreds of miles away from me). We have chit-chatted back and forth (which is limited bc he only has just so long on the internet over there), but he told me that he is coming back to our hometown in December. YES! I'm happy about that. Well, being the kind of girl that I am, I told him we should go out for a few drinks one night and catch up (haven't seen or talked to him since high school). I'm still awaiting his response (he only gets online once a day when its like 4 am here).

I guess my question foryou guys is, do you think I made an ass of myself? lol
I'm a lady, I want men to respect me and I respect myself, but I'm not afraid to let a guy know I'm interested.
I have plenty of guy friends, but I've never had a guy "friend" call me "amazing". They usually say "cool" or "awesome" or something stupid, but never "amazing".

Do you guys tell just any girl she is "amazing" ?
What do you think his intentions are?

[HeartIsAching]

No, you didn't make an ass of yourself. There's nothing wrong with what you did - this isn't the 1950's.

No, guys don't just tell any girl that they're amazing... but you should be aware that he's been isolated and under stress for a long time.

[regdenied]

Amazings a bit strong a word I guess but I don't think what you said was wrong, I think that's the best attitude and I don't know why some women think they can't be honest n just say what they feel like saying but oh no cause it shows some kind of weakness or lack of respect for themselves nonsense! I know one girl who wouldn't dare show any sort of interest when she IS actually interested, well she has built up a lot of dexterity in her fingers that's all I'm saying.

[Gypsybell]

Why wouldn't you invite an old school friend for a social drink? Nothing wrong with that at all. And he may well be holding that as something to look forward to while he is overseas on duty. Sounds like he might have noticed you more than you think in highschool days. I would only have one caution, Don't lead him on if you don't feel the same and don't read more into it yourself until you meet and find out. Small towns are gold fishbowls. So you know the drill. Its kinda nice to find some one special in your own back yard, so be open to possibilities. 'Amazing' is certainly sounds optimistic. So what descrition did You give him? Good luck.

[samanthamallory]

Thanks guys!

Gypsybell-I'm taking it that you want to know what the one word is I used to describe him? I used "sweet". Yeah, kinda weak but it's all I had. HA! Thanks!

[surfhb]

Whomever wrote the book on how women are "supposed" to behave.....I just want to punch in the face!!!!

There isn't a man in the world who would think you're being too forward. In fact, we all wish you would be a little more aggressive. We have always thought so.....women have be taught to think otherwise

[samanthamallory]

Thank you guys soo much. Well I invited him for drinks when he gets back and replied "haha, yes ma'am! i'll be sure to give you a shout". I guess because I'm a girl that response is kind of confusing. It doesn't sound like he is very enthusiastic, but it's probably just me being silly. So, guys, once again...what do you think about this response?

Also, what should my next move be? He wont be here until December so should I lay low and see if he takes the initiative to talk to me more, or should I just keep the convo going on fb? I thought about msging him and offering my phone number, but that seems really risky. What do I do???

[sadie_genie]

His response tells you that you should wait for him to initiate contact the next time. See if he does. If he is interested, he will. If he comes back and doesn't do anything, DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT initiate contact to ask if the drink thing is still on. Don't give him your number unless he asks. You have already shown interest and that is enough. Let the man chase you.

[Wakeup]

Whomever wrote the book on how women are "supposed" to behave.....I just want to punch in the face!!!!

There isn't a man in the world who would think you're being too forward. In fact, we all wish you would be a little more aggressive. We have always thought so.....women have be taught to think otherwise

Nope! I don't agree. Guys who aren't interested in being serious or monogamous certainly don't want to have to do very much work to get where they wanna go. However: It's human nature to appreciate something you've had to work for over something handed to you on a platter. BTW: I'm not saying I think you've been too forward or handed anything to him on a platter Op. Far from it at this point.

Just like you guys who use the inherent need to "spread your seed" as an excuse for bad behaviour you all have an inherent need to go on the hunt, chase and to conquer.

OP: You've shown interest. Let him do some work now and hopefully it will become that fine dance of equal to chase and to be caught by both of you. Good wishes.

[JohnDater]

Treat our servicemen with great love!

[samanthamallory]

Thanks! I totally appreciate your honesty! He asked me for my phone number this morning and said he will call as soon as he can. Soo happy!

[samanthamallory]

JohnDater-I would do nothing less! They are ALL my heroes! He has been deployed somewhere pretty much his entire enlistment and I'm not sure if he has another deployment or not. They are the most selfless people on this earth.