Should i fight for our 14yrs or walk away??

[lost_14yrs!]

Hi all, Im new to this so bear with me.... Im on here for some advice??? Here is my story!!

I have been with my partner 14 years, we have been together since we were 16.. we have 2 beautiful children 9 & 13 (yes we had kids young).. We never married as we both never needed to!! Just after being together 2yrs we broke up for 3mths.. i slept with someone else in that time... which broke my partners heart.. and he hasnt trusted me ever since.. That was 12yrs ago i have been reminded of it ever since!! Just a month ago we had a fight and he moved out for some space!! Now he has found a girlfriend.... He says he still loves me but wants to move on???? I have never hurt so much in my life... i never thought someone could cry so much... i cant eat or sleep!! Even knowing he is with someone else i cant hate him... I LOVE him Sooo much.

My question is??? Should i fight for our 14yrs?? or try and move on myself???

[SunRiver]

Only you can answer that question. Only you know if it is worth it or even possible to rekindle the relationship. You'll have to give this some serious thought. You may want to discuss things with him and see where he stands. If he's decided to start a new life then you must be tough and do the same. You'll be OK.

[Wakeup]

Should i fight for our 14yrs or walk away??

What? You mean like a girl on girl mud wrestle and winner takes all?

He's with someone new, Dear. Let her have him and if he comes back after he finishes with her then make sure you get couples counceling so the two of you can get over each of you being intimate with someone other than one another and you're not throwing it up in each other's face for the next 14 years.

What would you do to "fight" for him?

[bulrush]

You both have to want it to make it work. Also, you broke up BEFORE you slept with someone else?

You also didn't tell us about his personality, or your relationship, which are critical for deciding whether this is worth fighting for. Sure you have a bond with him due to your long time with him. Women who are beaten by their husbands also have a bond with them, which is one reason why they don't leave them.

[lost_14yrs!]

Firstly Thanks for your replys!!

To "Sunriver" I know i have to answer this question but im not thinking straight at the moment.. i thought maybe someone on here might of had a situation that they could of had some feedback.. Im stuck.. My heart says to fight for us.. and my head sometimes not???

To "Wakeup" no i didnt mean physicaly fight!! im that type of person...

To "Bulrush"... His personality is Opposite to mine..hahah opposites attract.. he is spontaneous...Fun and Loving.. he is a GREAT father also... Our relationship has had its ups and downs like normal and i thought we were going through a down as it has been 14yrs together and we had to freshen up a bit.. we dont get much alone time(with kids and shift work) but i enjoy every min we have together.. he makes me laugh..... And that Bond that you say keeps battered wives withtheir husbands... thats what im worried about maybe i need to let go?... But i do love him.. and i feel he still does me!!!

[bulrush]

I really needed more specific things that he does.

1. WHY is he a good father? What exactly does he do to make him a good father?
2. What things does he do that you don't like, or that bother you?
3. What things do you fight about most? List the top 3 things.
4. When you disagree on things, how do you disagree? Do you call each other names? Does someone throw things? Does someone storm off and leave the house? Do you talk things through and compromise?
5. What would you change about him?
6. What would he change about you?

[IndiReloaded]

He's never forgiven you. Karma is a bitch.

You can try to put your foot down and say that you think 14 years is worth something. That if he continues to see this other girl you are walking. You need to mean it, but that should be easy b/c it seems you have no other choice.