Seriously confused

[OneLove24]

After ending a long relationship I was pretty much firm in my decision to chill for a while and stay out of any kind of emotional involvement. Of course, that is exactly when I met a guy I really started to like. Both in our mid 20s, both freshly out of relationship, similar characters and interests.. u get the point. We never met in person, it was all an online friendship which somehow started to develop into something much more serious. After just few months I actually fell in love with him. And we spent hours and hours together, vidchat, gtalk..It was just impossible to think abt a day without him around. He was there for me, from work, home, all the time. And I was there for him, limiting my social life to sitting in front of my PC. After a while, we started fighting about trivial things, and it was mostly him who found each and every joke I made stupid or insulting, or just misinterpreted something I said as my jealousy or insecurity.. He has been accusing me of not trusting him, of being drama queen and not understanding that if he is not online chatting with me, that does not mean he does not love me or is doing some girl out there..So we started to drift appart. After I suggested we should switch back to just being online buddies, he started assuring me he loves me and he does not want it to end.. Now is almost 9 months since this so-called relationship started. All of a sudden he has no time for me, doesn't even text me any more, doesn't ask how I am.. Explaining all by being too busy bc of promotion at work. Not even saying hi. Except for sometimes talking about his new friend he really likes, a girl who is about to get married so I have no reasons to worry.. Thats his point of view and explanation. Oh and always ignores my messages, never or rarely replies and just sometimes says he loves me and misses me. To make it clear, I never had illusions about us two being together in real life, because chances of me going to his country or him coming here are.. highly improbable. All I need to know is what to do now? I am really into this guy and don't want to lose him. But friendship is not something he would accept, suggesting it again would only make him freak out on me.I love him very much and am pretty sure there are some feelings from his side too, though am affraid I caused him to back down by being constantly available and to tell the truth, I think he got bit bored. Now I am really confused about how I should behave.

[Dune]

If you don't think it will work out, I suggest you let it go. Sounds like things are going nowhere, no progress can be made and you're just stuck dealing with shitty issues from time to time. If there is no future prospect in this relationship, why bother anyway? Find someone that you can really work something out with, rather than face the computer everyday.

It is possible that you probably just feel like you need to be loved and you need someone to cling on to. Why not move out of your comfort zone and start meeting other people for a change?

Forgive my bluntness.

[OneLove24]

Thank u for your reply. I did try to meet other guys but it was all so.. tasteless.. As if I intentionally went out with guys who were blank paper compared to him. We actually understand each other very well and I never met a guy like him. I think that is what I don't wanna lose. Though lately he does not sound himself any more. But I guess you are right, bc in order to save this, he would have to participate too, and that is one thing he does not do at all...

[skeeziix]

If he is treating you like shit it is because he doesn't give a shit. Men aren't complicated creatures. If he is into you he will do whatever it takes to get you, if he isn't into you anymore he just won't be... and all you will be doing is wasting your time and probably pushing him farther away. If someone truly loves you they will lift you up and love you, wouldn't that be what you would do for them? Don't waste your time go out there and have fun meet people live your life, you only have one!

[OneLove24]

Not happy to admit, but I do know you are right.. Thank you

[smackie9]

You are kidding yourself if you think this is worth hanging onto. On-line LDRs are about 20% reality and 80% fantasy. Most of what you think of him is spun from your imagination. Relationships need to get to a physical level after awhile,and it does get to a point where if you don't meet, interest depletes. It's obvious his attention is now directed on someone else. Whatever he tells you, is just to pacify you. It's way too easy to lie when it's over the net and he is taking advantage of it.........get the hint, it's over.

[smackie9]

Tip: date locally.....less hassle.

[OneLove24]

True.. but seems I didn't explain well.. I don't want to lose him as a person I can talk to, person I love hanging out with.. Dating.. I am trying to find a guy that would make and keep me interested.. I just don't know why and how to fix this, if there's any way.. I donno how to treat him now. BTW when it comes to jealousy, he always says whats on his mind and what bothers him, and I am not allowed even to mention any girl he hangs out with because he accuses me of not trusting him, as if I would mind him dating someone and as if we didn't agree that it is OK and even desirable that we date ppl but stay what we are to each other... I love this guy and we were both OK with platonic relationship, worked just fine, but all of a sudden he is silent though not letting me go. Thats what confuses me.. If he really doesn't want this romance thing, why not simply saying so instead of assuring me his feelings are not changed and then not talking me for days..

[smackie9]

Reality check: it's not working out, so there is no need to be wasting your time trying to figure it out. It's done, and it's just better to walk away from it.

[bulrush]

He claims he loves you but his actions tell a different story. Time to let this one go and find a better boyfriend.